Interview With Joan Of Arc

"Hello! Join me as we venture into the life of Joan of Arc! Yes, the heroine herself will be with us today telling the story that the history books do not know. The two of us will go to the now destroyed New Orleans, to visit the only surviving medieval put-put site. Joan herself chose this because we suggested that it might jog some old memories. We will have all of this and more after these important messages!" I continued smiling as the 'on-air' light finally went off. Soon, I was going to actually meet the woman who saved her country and would forever influence the world.

I was to meet up with Joan at a boat launch outside of New Orleans. A few of my co-workers and I rode in the BNSOC, Best News Station on Cable, van to get to the launch. Standing there with the president of our station, John Issajerk, was the courageous Joan of Arc. I stepped out o f the van and introduced myself.

"Hello, my name is Brittney Barnhart. It is a pleasure to meet you."

She looked me over once and responded with, "Hello, I'm Joan, and may I say that it is an absolutely glorious pleasure to have been acquainted with your presence."

I thought to myself, "She is good...She is good...Is not it illegal for people form the 1400's to be sarcastic?" I laughed nervously, "Well, we should head out. Will this be the first time you have traveled in a mud-boat?"

I am sure Joan thought it was clever for us to have the interview in New Orleans. As we traveled over the flooded city, I could see our destination in the distance. It looked like a deserted island in the ocean. The entrance to the medieval put-put site was an archway that had 'Ye Olde Put-put' engraved in it. I thought it was very funny. There were miniature moats, drawbridges, catapults, castles, windmills. And everything else you can imagine. This was going to be a hoot!

Ye Olde Put-put was deserted, so we had the entire place to ourselves. Joan was polite and gracious the entire time. I almost felt like she was not completely being herself. Joan was hiding behind a mask of perfection. I decided to be spontaneous. "Hey Joan! Follow me!" I called out as I started to climb a miniature windmill.

She looked at me skeptically, "This is not very professional of you."

I laughed, partly because of her response and partly because from this height, with her short hair, men's clothes, and blank face, Joan really did look like a man!

"God did not put us on this planet to be professional all the time! Come on! Be spontaneous!" I clapped with accomplishment as Joan started to climb up after me. As soon as Joan was off guard, I pushed her into a large pool of water below which housed many abandoned put-put balls. When she came up, gasping for air, I jumped in after her. I expected her to be enraged, but when I broke the surface of the water, she was laughing hysterically. We both climbed out of the pool getting ready to start a game of miniature golf. This would be a new one, soaking wet, playing put-put, and interviewing a dead person!

Brittney-- Now, correct me if I am wrong, but according to my records, this is your first interview since the afterlife?

Joan of Arc- Yes, this is a new experience for me.

Brittney--Alright, let us start from the beginning. Where were you born?

Joan of Arc-In 1412, I was born in Dom Remy, France (Banfield 109).

Brittney--Now this question I have always wondered myself, what baby book did you rparents get the name, Joan of Arc?

Joan of Arc-Well, I do not know what you mean by 'baby book', but my original name from my parents was Joan Darc (Banfield 109).

Brittney--We all know that you were visited frequently by the voices of three saints (Mysteries of the Mind, Space, and Time: the Unexplained Vol. 13 1568) Some people believed you; others thought that you were off your rocker, but how did you feel when you first heard the voices?

Joan of Arc-I was thirteen years old in my father's garden and frightened horribly. However, I had faith, and I was sure the voice was holy (Mysteries of the Mind, Space, and Time: the Unexplained Vol. 13 1568).

Brittney-Before going into war, what sort of education did you have?

Joan

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