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Marriage In America

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Autor:  anton  09 July 2011
Tags:  Marriage,  America
Words: 1545   |   Pages: 7
Views: 420

The most important quality of a married couple is love. Attitudes and responsibilities are some important factors for the development of a good marriage. Building a happy marriage is the result of an aware effort on the part of a husband and a wife. A lifelong union, people bound together by a bond of love, can be considered marriage. It begins with a ceremony known as a wedding, which formally unites the two partners. A marital relationship usually involves some kind of agreement. Marriage is commonly defined as an organization between two members of opposite sex known as husband and wife. The usual roles and responsibilities of the husband and wife take at home living together, having sexual relations only with one another, sharing economic resources, and being recognized as the parents of their children. On the other hand, marriage involves an emotional and sexual relationship between those two particular human beings. In some cultures, marriage connects two families, while in some cases, land, valuables, and even physical work is exchanged between the families. The extended family and society also share an interest in any children the couple may have. Also, the legal and religious definitions of marriage and the laws that surround it, usually represents their norms and culture values. The bond of marriage is desired because in today’s world it seems to be the most common method of prospering, but the glue that holds it all together is communication.

A marriage depends on emotional maturity that means that it needs the sense of responsibility, self-confidence, and in others. “The following trends might be factors contributing to marital maladjustments: lack of preparation, emphasis on romanticism, lack of family pride, rapid social changes, hurried and careless marriages, lack of religious influence, false views regarding marriage failures, extremes of wealth and poverty the impact of mass media” (Henslin). James Henslin lists a few factors that are common and can often hinder marriages. A breakdown in communication leads to misunderstandings. Communication is an important process to have success in your marriage. “It is mainly through some form of communication that differences and misunderstandings can come to light” (Henslin). In all marriages there is always some kind of problem. Subsequent to researching and simply reading about marriage, I have come to the conclusion that all almost all have to do with bad communication. In some cases from real life and my personal experiences, couples discuss things that are not that important. For example, money and material things, because they are necessary for life but people do not need them for living.

Marriage is a society that depends on natural law, one necessary for man because of man’s nature. The family is a natural society that is necessary to continue the race. According to Stephanie Coontz, “Marriage is a union and a stable union, hence the insistence on monogamy and the rejection of divorce” (Coontz 255). With the weight of “continuing the race,” as Coontz would say, it becomes crucial to keep the bond between the two spouses strong, and the fear of separation, divorce, or the conclusion of a marriage to leave quite a burden on one person. While many factors can affect a marriage, communication remains constant in every aspect.

Family policy is everything that governments do that affect families, directly or indirectly. “It connotes choice with respect to the pursuit and attainment of collectively agreed-upon goals and values in addressing the problems of families in relation to society” (Grace). The most important goal of family policy is individual and family well-being. I can personally relate to this quote being that I strongly agree that well-being is everything while in a relationship because more often then not it is affecting more than just one person. It is very important the position that a person has individually, with his or her family, for relations with others, and for their place or role on society. A person can determine all of this with the organization and role of the family status. “The seriousness of the wide discrepancies in individual and family well-being attributes to race, gender, and social class that were noted in the discussion is underscored here” (Grace). All of this is very important to have a good relationship with others. For example, the connection that people have with acquaintances or friends is also important for family communication because a reputation established in your surroundings will translate to how your family is viewed, your morals and values, and how you communicate with each other. The idea of family policy affecting marriage and communication can be traced back to the pre-modern Europe times when the uncommon same-sex marriage was on the rise.

Many questions remain about same-sex unions in pre-modern Europe. “Such unions, in various forms, were widespread in the ancient world, where heterosexual matrimony tended to be viewed as a dynastic or business arrangement, and love in such relationships, where it occurred, arise following the coupling” (Kmiec). Men and women were more likely to put in or share feelings would be called “romantic” in a same sex-relationship. In the past it was considered that the Christian ceremony of same-sex union was considered a “gay marriage ceremony”. The Christian Church does not think that the same-sex union is an incorrect relation and that they do not accept it, but God made a union of two different types of couples to procreate. This does not mean Christianity is against same-sex couples, but means that it should be re-evaluated. Even people who argue that same-sex couples should not have the right to contract marriage like anyone else are apt to view such unions as an interesting aspect of our time, and that it is like an experiment or something different to people in society. “The term “concubine” is derived from the Latin verb “to lie with,” and means a social inferior (but not usually a possessed person) maintained in a long-standing relationship for the sexual fulfillment of a male” (Kmiec). In this time not only men were united as couples, but also the females were united as well. I personally think that everyone has the right to marry because no matter the race, ethnicity, gender, or hair color, every single relationship requires that bond. This bond is made up of each persons characteristics, values, communication skills, uniqueness, and many more factors that all started at youth.

“We all bring into our marriage all the “little people” we ever were” (Triola). This means that every boy or every girl we ever were is still a part of us, consciously or subconsciously. We are part of what we always were. An adult has two basic personalities, the domestic and the social personality, according to Bret Triola, author of, “Marriage in America.” Triola gives American values an interesting look as he puts it into perspective that everyone truly does have those childhood instincts and values within us. The domestic personalities are our previous experiences that are still inside us. It is like the person that we are when we do not think after doing things. The social personality is the person we are when we are in touch with our past. They must learn how that child may be affecting their marriages. “Marriage is a state of like where such aids are most likely to be necessary” (Popenoe 271). The married couples need the help of other intellect or people with more experience to understand things in life, they will need in several times of like some assistance of someone to help the do something, and they wont be able to live their life without help. At least couples will need courage and insight to appreciate the values that are required for the couples to keep God’s law and realize their own ideals in their new state of life. “Over the past several hundred years, social, economic, religious, and cultural changes have dramatically altered the institution of marriage, especially the roles of husbands and wives” (Coda). Many factors contribute to the transformation, including the change from a rural and agricultural society to an urban industrial economy, the increasing emphasis on individual freedom and changes in population characteristics, such as the decline of death rates and the increase in average life expectancy.

As we know, success in marriage does not just happen overnight, and its not only a matter of luck that many married couples have made the adjustments to married life and are now living happy and content lives. It is the result of a conscious effort on the part of a husband and wife to identify the marriage as a good one or a bad one. To understand this and build a happy marriage people need to understand the adjustment process, which I think if full of life and still, because people are going to live together with their couples for the rest of their remaining lives, people will need to exchange attitudes. When time passes in the state of marriage, people are going to be seeing these special adjustments. If a solid communication understanding exists between couples then people will be able to handle new problems as they arise, not recognizing them as possible sources of conflict resulting in a successful marriage. Isn’t that what every person on the face of the earth desires?

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