Do You Know What You're Really In?

Do You Really Know What You Are In?

Abuse is a huge part of the world we live in today. Unfortunately, it’s too much of the everyday world many of us live through. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, or even verbal. Once it’s started, it’s hard to extinguish.

Physical abuse is very common in couples relationships. Reasons for the abuse can range from something small like a bad temper, to something like a drinking problem. Abuse can come from the words and action put forth by the abuser in a harmful situation. Physical abuse is abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, pain, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm (Smith). This type of abuse can result in bruises, black eyes, knocked out teeth, broken bones, internal organ injuries, miscarriage, brain concussions, and even death. Women or men who may have been physically abused by their partners in the past may feel surprised when it happens again. Other victims may walk away knowing that their partner may become physically abusive at any time.

Some victims take on guilt about the physical abuse they are receiving, as if they are somehow to blame. Some women are intimidated or manipulated into not reporting the abuse they are receiving out of concern for another person (USDOJ). Many men are intimidated into not reporting physical abuse they have taken from their female partner because they feel ashamed. Some men are taught from a young age that they should be strong and tough. Many victims of physical abuse become experts at provide excuses for their bumps, bruises, or broken bones.

According to “Helpguide Helps You Help Yourself and Others”, physical abuse can also be known as Spousal Abuse. Spousal Abuse occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. The victim feels guilt, but not over what the abuser has done. The abuser is more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior. Often this escalates from physical abuse to sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse is common in abusive relationships. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, between one-third and one half of all battered women are raped by their partners at least once during their relationship. Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "rape" excites him. He/she may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he/she could be sexually abusive or sexually violent. Furthermore, women whose partners abused them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed (Healthy Place).

Personal troubles is another issue dealing with sexual abuse. Most abusers were abused themselves in their own childhood. The reason for the abusers to do this violent act of crime is usually the lack of happiness in his or her life, which could lead into Emotional Abuse.

Violence Against Women states that emotional abuse can be defined as any non-physical behavior that is used to intimidate, punish, isolate, or control a person using degrading, fearful, or humiliating tactics. Emotional abuse can destroy victim’s self-worth, leading to anxiety, depression, and make victims feel helpless and alone. The aim of Emotional Abuse is to chip away at the victim’s feelings or self-worth and independence. Victims may feel that there’s no way out of the relationship without their abusive partner. They believed that they have nothing. Abusers often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if the victim doesn’t do what they want (Help Guide). The