A Journey

A Journey

It is human nature to want what we can not have, to hold onto something that it is time to let go of. We cling to the memories of the past, cling to the past itself, and turn fearful faces towards the future. Still we all must grow, age, and die. Life is a journey we all must complete, a road that all must travel, whether we want to or not. A major step in this journey is the passage from childhood into adulthood. It is here in the journey that many of us may falter. We fear the loss of our innocence, the carefree times of our childhood and the pain and hardship experience must bring with it; thus it is that many of us will fight to stop the journey here. We find it hard to leave behind the simple truths we know, to lose those we love and are close to. Stepping into the unknown is to risk losing ones self, to risk losing our way. It is here we are forced to confront and accept our greatest fears, our inner selves, something we find terrifying. To stop this journey, to remain a child, to prevent ourselves from growing can only result in madness and death. To live we must grow and experience. This is what Holden Caulfield learns in J.D. Salinger's novel The Catcher in the Rye. Holden is unable to come to grips with the realities of life, the pain that comes along with growing, such as the loss of his younger brother Allie. Holden's inability to cope with the fact that we all must, grow, experience, age, and die, pushes him nearly to the brink of death, until he undergoes a series of events that change his view of the world and of himself. He loses his way, trying to prevent himself from growing, and to 'catch' the children around him in an effort to protect them from the pains of growing. In the end Holden realizes that he can not prevent himself or those around him from growing and he

completes his journey into adulthood. Holden Caulfield experiences a series of events, ranging from the death of his brother, to several days of madness and hopelessness in New York, that force him to look at himself and the world around him; thus is he able, along with the help of several people along the way, and a series of revelations, to progress from the naпve romantic innocence of childhood to the experienced realistic world of adulthood.

Holden's refusal to become an adult stems from his vision of adults as phony, old and near death, as is evidenced from the comments he makes about them and his misunderstanding of several events he witnesses adults taking part in. Holden sees growing old as scary. To grow old to him means to become weak and sickly. "I mean he was all stooped over, and he had very terrible posture, and in class, whenever he dropped a piece of chalk at the blackboard, some guy in the first row always had to get up and pick it up and hand it to him. That's awful in my opinion" (6-7). Holden does not like the idea of being so weak he can not even pick up a piece of chalk. To him Spencer, his sickly old teacher, represents what he will become if he becomes an adult. Holden fears this because he knows Spencer does not have much longer to live and if he became like him neither would he. Holden also sees adults as phony, something Holden detests in people, and fears he would become if he is an adult. "For instance, they had this head master, Mr. Haas, that was the phoniest bastard I ever met in my life.... I can't stand that stuff. It drives me crazy" (13-14). The very idea of even being around phony people appalls Holden. Holden is afraid that if he grows up he will sell out and become a phony. He is also afraid of losing the excitement of childhood. Adulthood is all planned out, there is no sneaking away for a quiet moment. Adults are stuck in a rut, everything is the same and the magic is gone from their lives, all they live for is to make money.

I said no, there wouldn't be marvelous places to go to after I went to college and all. Open your ears. It'd be entirely different. We'd have to go downstairs in

elevators with suitcases and stuff. We'd have to phone up everybody and tell'em good-bye and send'em postcards from hotels and all. And I'd be working in some office, making a lot of dough, and riding to work in cabs and Madison Avenue buses, and reading newspapers, and playing bridge all the time, and going to the movies and seeing a lot of stupid shorts and coming attractions and newsreels. Newsreels. Christ almighty...." (133)

Holden is afraid that he will become sickly, old, phony, and a sell out, all of which are a result of a loss of innocence, something else Holden fears but must face.

Holden on his journey thinks about and meets several people who have lost their innocence too young; it is the experiences he has with them that make him realize that no matter what the world will force him to grow up. Jane Gallagher is Holden's friend from home. Jane has been forced to grow up by her step-father, and as a result has lost her innocence too young. Holden sees what this has done to her and it scares him. He does not want to be forced to lose his innocence, but he realizes that if he does not experience on his own, the world will force him to experience like it did to Jane. To try to prevent this he hires Sunny, a prostitute, to have sex with him in an attempt to lose his innocence on his own terms. However Holden can not go through with his plan. "I took her dress over to the closet and hung it up for her. It was funny. It made me feel sort of sad when I hung it up. I thought of her going in a store and buying it, and nobody in the store knowing she was a prostitute and all. The salesman probably thought she was a regular girl when she bought it. It made me feel sad as hell-I don't know why exactly" (95-96).

Holden is sad because he knows that Sunny too has been forced to lose her innocence to young. These two experiences with both Sunny and Jane force Holden to look inside himself and discover that he is not ready to grow up. This realization along with a longing to stop others from feeling pain lead to Holden's dream of catching other children.

Holden is a romantic who wants everything to be nice and easy, he does not want anyone to have to feel pain; thus does he create his dream of becoming the 'catcher in the rye', a dream he must give up to grow. Holden does not want to experience because with experience comes pain. Having already lost his younger brother Holden can not face any more pain, Allies loss having emotionally weakened him. His encounter with Jane and Sunny scare Holden, but make him see what the world can be like. In an effort to protect the children Holden still wants to be he comes up with the idea of 'catching' them.

Anyway,