Abuse

Abuse is the violation of an individuals human and civil rights by any other person or persons. Abuse of a vulnerable person may consist of a single act or repeated acts. It may occur as a result of a failure to undertake action or appropriate care tasks. It may be an act of neglect or an omission to act, or it may occur where a vulnerable person is persuaded to enter into a financial or sexual transaction to which they have not, or cannot, consent. Abuse can occur in any relationship and may result in significant harm to, or exploitation of, the individual. There are several ways in which people can be abused. However, the fundamental common denominator is the use of power and control by one individual to affect the well-being and status of another individual.

Emotional and Psychological abuse

Types of abuse

Emotional abuse is a kind of abuse that is emotional rather that physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as repeated disapproval or even the refusal to ever be pleased. Emotional abuse is like brain washing, it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones. Emotional abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe that no one else could want them. They stay in abusive situations because they believe they have nowhere else to go. Their ultimate fear is being all alone. In abusive expectations the other person places unreasonable demands on the victim and wants him/her to put everything else aside to tend to their

needs. It could be a demand for constant attention, or a requirement that the victim spends all his/her free time with the person. But no matter how much is given, it’s never enough. The one’s being abused are often subjected to constant criticism, and are constantly berated because they don’t fulfill all the needs of the person.

Aggressing is an Aggressive form of abuse that includes name-calling, accusing, blaming, threatening, and ordering. Aggressing behaviors are generally direct and obvious. The one-up position the abuser assumes by attempting to judge or invalidate the recipient undermines the equality and autonomy that are essential to healthy relationships. Aggressive abuses can also take a more direct form and may even be disguised and “helping”. Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, proving, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental “I know best” tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships. This type of emotional abuse can lead to what is known as learned helplessness.

Another type of abuse is denying. Denying a person’s emotional needs, especially when they feel, that need, the most. The abuser may deny that certain events occurred or that certain things were said. He may deny the victims perceptions, memory and very sanity. Another form of denying is withholding. It includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the “silent treatment.” Denying can be particularly damaging. In addition lowering self-esteem and creating conflict, the invalidation of reality, feelings, and experiences can eventually lead a person to question and mistrust their

own perceptions and emotional experience. Denying cause a person to lose confidence in his/her most valuable survival tool: his or her own mind.

Symptoms of abuse

There are common effects or conditions that may occur following the abuse. Sometimes these responses can be delayed for months or even years after the event.

Physical symptom is an emotional abuse that certainly affects the brain but it also causes certain physical disorders. The symptoms of physical disorder caused due to emotional abuse are eating and sleeping disturbances, sexual dysfunction, low energy and chronic, unexplained pain. The emotional effect of abuse on a person’s emotion shows signs and symptoms of depression, spontaneous crying, despair and hopelessness, anxiety, panic attacks, fearfulness, compulsive and obsessive behaviors, feeling out of control, irritability, angry and resentment, emotional numbness and withdrawal from normal routine and relationships. Cognitive symptoms of emotional abuse related to a person’s cognition are memory lapses, especially about the trauma, difficulty in making decisions, decreased ability to concentrate and finally feeling distracted.

Spousal Abuse

Spousal abuse is a pattern of behavior that may be the result of a number of different factors. It may be a learned behavior that a child observes occurring between parents and later repeats in his or her adult relationships. Studies show that abusers are often

motivated by feelings of powerlessness and insecurity. Spouse abuse inflates the ego and provides a false sense of control. It may be the result of a misguided sense of love that results in unhealthy possessiveness and/ or jealousy. It is a very serious form of exploitation that will escalate when left untreated. There is a cycle of violence that often begins with a pattern of verbal denigration and emotional abuse and intensifies until it manifests itself as a form of physical abuse. More than sixty percent of all married couples have some type of spousal abuse in their lives. Statistically, reports of women being abused are more common than that of men. Spousal abuse goes much further than physical beatings. The crushing of a spirit with emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical beatings. However, women are not the only victims of physical or emotional abuse. Many men are abused in the same way by a spouse or partner and generally overlooked or ignored by society due to the stigma. Abusers can come from different background or walk of life; there are some common characteristics that have been found. An abuser often has poor communication skills, wants to control, places blame on other people or factors for the abusive actions, has little control over impulses, and suffers from a low self-esteem. There is one thing though,