Because You Love Me

If it wasn’t for my mom, I wouldn’t be able to get through life. Yes it could sound like as if it’s a typical teenage thing that we all have gone through. I grew up with a mom, a dad, younger siblings, and both grandmas living all in the same house. If you didn’t know me this would sound like a big and warm family. Only in reality it’s not but instead a living nightmare. I’ve gotten kicked out of the house, and they all thought I would be pregnant or even be a high school dropout. The only person who stood by my side is my mom because I never got support from my family. It is tough growing up with an over protective dad and a mom who is very cultural. Whatever my dad says will go because she wouldn’t question his judgments.

Growing up in a family with so much negative lectures only made me have less confidence in myself. It’s a shame to say but with all the smiles you see here I don’t do this when I am at home. There is no such thing as my parents are ever at fault, so there is never “I am sorry” from them. There are no such things as hugs, kisses, or even I love you. I was raised to show no affection. I know it’s like I am living the life of two people but in my house we have only strict conversatation only on school and how grades should always be improved. I don’t ever do well on test but I know I try my best for everything else to balance those. Yet it’s never good enough for my dad. Growing up being the oldest I have to get it the hard way whether or not I like it. I am a role model to my younger siblings. In my dad’s eyes I am a failure because his priorities are school. When he was a boy, he did well in everything he attended so he expects me being the same. By all means I try my best but yet that’s never good enough. We could be talking about cars and then it some how goes on to lectures about school. I have heard this since I was in kindergarten. Yet only a few years back was when my mom gave me a talk and she made all those years fell off my shoulders. She reminded me and its only awkward to hear for the first time in my life that I was being reminded again from my mom that she is here for me because she is my mom who will love me and back me up for anything but as long as I am will to learn that’s all that matters she will put out everything else. That was the day that brought joy to my heart that I still have a mom.

For over matter of small incidents that might not matter to some people it means big trouble for me. When I was younger I had a bad addiction to the internet. In my house we only used dial up, and had only one phone line. For my parents always needing to call and check up on my siblings, its only disaster