Beloved

The problem with teen parents, of course, is that they are both 100% teenagers and also 100% parents!

During the teen years, human beings return temporarily to a level of self-centeredness which nearly matches that of infants. Soon they will be adults capable of selflessness. Temporarily, selflessness is a tall order.

And yet, for teens who bear children, selflessness is required. Their colicky newborns, curious babies and defiant toddlers will require of them patience, unconditional love, and emotional availability. For the sake of their children's future, these teenagers must learn to parent selflessly.

Helping teens learn to nurture their children is such a difficult task that many choose to ignore the challenge. We have chosen to learn what we can about the population, hoping for insights about how to help them effectively. We admit that we are still baffled about much of this challenge, but we have met with success when we have kept the following premises in mind:

Explore what's important to them. Social issues already resolved by older parents, for example, often cloud teen parents' abilities to focus on their children.

Spend time with them. A real generation gap exists between teen parents and almost any one over 25. Only after spending time together will a relationship of trust be established. Within this relationship, teen parents may begin to hear some of the messages we hope to share.

Remember that issues of discipline are especially at risk for children of teen parents. Many teens are still rebelling against structure and authority. They will not be inclined to impose limitations on their own children.