Compromise

Compromise

"Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married? You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work. It's about compromise. Do you always like it? No. Do you have to do it? Yes, because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee in Central Perk all the time, it's real life. Okay... it's what grown-ups do."

Marriages are never easy, and the marriages of Ross Gellar from the television show Friends is an epitome of that statement. In one episode, Ross gets married to his second wife Emily, who demanded a lot of things from him Ð'- from moving to London to not being in the same room as Rachel, his friend. As a result, Ross' friends called Emily as being unreasonable which led to an argument about marriage and compromises, as mentioned above.

Making compromises are crucial for a marriage, understood to be a lifetime commitment between two people who love each other, to work. However, this is not the same as giving up your dignity and humanity to be able to make one person happy. Compromises exist between two people. It is an agreement which includes what is best for both persons and what is best for the relationship. It is not an irrational decision wherein one person simply agrees with another, rather, it is carefully thought of and discussed by both parties to make sure that no one's feelings or opinions are being ignored and taken for granted by another.

No two persons are the same in all aspects and that is why compromises should be made. Couples should learn to compromise on each person's habits, attitudes, and issues that will hinder either of them from the objective of married life Ð'- to make both parties in the marriage better and fuller persons. From what the group has understood in the seminar, compromises can be observed in the way the couples solve their problems and the way they relate with each other.

For example, Ricky and Vicky feels that communication is very important in their relationship and that is why whenever one arrives home, no matter how late it is, and they make it a point to talk about their day with each other. It seems that tiredness and time do not matter when it comes to sharing with each other what one did for the day. Setting aside some time for them to be able to talk to each other meant a whole lot to them. Still being able to be a part of each other's lives, even just as a listener, was important to them as a sign of how much they love and support one another. Without understanding and compromise, they would not be able to make the time and effort to communicate as they do and make each other a part of their lives.

For Mike and Paola, their problem involved their children. They discovered that one of their kids is a bully, and the teacher thought that this may be because both of them are never home to take care of the kids. Because of this, they agreed through some deliberation that one should stay at home while the other works. As the mother, Paola agreed to stay at home with the children, a decision she did not regret because she did not want to risk their growth and personal development for her career. That shows that while compromises may mean having to give-up some things for the marriage (like a career), in the long-run, provided that the married couple reach a compromise sincerely and act accordingly, no one really loses. The marriage endures and becomes an even richer relationship from the success of the couple's cooperation.

Another example of compromise being similar to a win-win situation is Rico and Pia's experience. When they decided to start a family, they came to an agreement that one should just stay at home to take care of the home and the children. Pia became a housewife because it turned out that it would be more beneficial for the family if Rico kept his job. However, that arrangement never discouraged Pia from personal growth. Her staying at home neither detached her from the outside world nor from herself. As a matter of fact, she was able to do a lot of things while at home Ð'- pursuing painting, and playing badminton. There was still room for growth as an individual. That compromise also helped the couple, as well