Conflict Resoultion

Strategies for Conflict Resolution

Strategies for Conflict Resolution

"The only job where you start at the top is digging a hole."

- Anonymous

Unresolved conflicts among family, friends, teammates, coworkers, and classmates will have us all digging out of a hole. Disagreements are a part of life; no matter what happens in our daily being, everyone faces some type of conflict. However, very few people enjoy the confrontation that conflicts bring. Unanswered conflicts can spell disaster.

Conflicts arise when people with diverse opinions, who are focused on different goals, come together for a common theme. Disagreements start as something petty, and before the team realizes it, the circumstances become a battle of personal bitterness. As conflict-resolution skills are applied to resolve all types of differences, the team will have the skills necessary to reach a quick solution.

Conflict-Resolution Styles

Conflicts come to pass because of a number of reasons. Many times people's personal fears and egos will interfere with their ability to reach a successful conflict solution. In the late 1970

two professors named Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann studied conflict-resolution. Thomas and Kilmann calculated the results and recognized that the individuals studied had five

main styles of dealing with conflict (Hendel, 2005). The research also revealed most people have a chosen style based on their personality. However, an individuals style would transform as the situation they were in began to change. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument was invented to identify which style best incorporates personality trends when conflict arises. The Thomas-Kilmann styles are as follows:

Avoidance: People who feel their style is avoidance tend to evade the conflict. The avoidance style is distinguished by not making any controversial decisions, steering clear of conflict, and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. Avoidance is a weak and ineffective way to handle conflict.

Accommodating: A person whose style is accommodating is more willing to put others needs, thoughts, and ideas before their own. Accommodators will fight for what they believe in, but when they start feeling threatened they will give up. Their opinions can be easily swayed. Accommodators are meek and less than aggressive.

Competitive: People who are completive set their mind on what they want then execute a plan to get it. This style is very persuasive and people who are competitive are excellent leaders.

Compromising: People who fall within the compromising style want to find an answer that will satisfy everyone. Compromising works best when the team is unable to come together, yet everyone is not so far apart.

Collaboration: If a person embraces the collaborative style he or she will try to find a common place were the team can come together to reach a resolution.

Once a person knows what conflict-resolution style best describes his or her personality the person will be able to move toward resolving conflict. Having the knowledge that conflict- resolution styles exist, and applying the styles to team members will help individuals prepare for any current and future conflicts.

How to Resolve Conflict

Now that conflict-resolution styles have been defined the next step will be to learn how to resolve conflicts. Several years ago while working for a company the general manager's conflict-resolution style leaned toward avoidance. Because the conflicts went unresolved the disagreements became personal and the team was very unproductive. The company hired a new general manager who brought to the table the Stop, Look, Listen, and Respond technique (Wireman). This practice encourages open and honest communication among team members. The Stop, Look, Listen, and Respond technique can be used with any situation and with any age group.

Stop simply means do not over react to a situation. Many times people become angry and rage builds up over several unresolved conflicts. Then one small conflict can cause an individual to have an outburst that will cause his or her inner rage to explode like a volcano. After the volcano fallout the team may never be able to repair the damage that was done. Because every

human being needs to control their fury, each individual must step back and analyze why he or she is so angry. By stopping, gaining control, and putting the rage into perspective the conflict will be easily resolved. Stop is the first step to conflict-resolution.

Look basically means look at the person, or if the conflict is online, look beyond the written word. During any conflict situation a person's body language will change, a well as the tone and speed of their voice. As a Loss Prevention Manager I must confront people who are suspected of stealing. When I am confronting the suspect I focus on the person's reaction to the altercation. Sometimes I must fully rely on what I see to help me determine if a person is being dishonest or honest. If a person is being dishonest he or she will look away, cross his or her arms and legs, and the stress of the situation will naturally change the tone of their voice. As I am confronting the person I must consider how to resolve the conflict before it gets out of control. I must look at the room setting, allowing the person a path to the door. If the person feels trapped and can not see away out of the room, the tension will build, and a conflict will escalate. Setting face to face is the best position to be in when confronting an individual. This guarantees the individual will physiologically feel he or she is on equal ground. As the confronter, setting behind a desk or table would create an aura of authority, causing anxiety to build. Lighting in the room should not be too bright and the temperature should not be hot or cold.

By looking at how people react to the confrontation, relaxing, talking in a normal tone, a rationalization can be used to resolve conflict. An example would be if a person is suspected of stealing money, by rationalizing the theft was a mistake, not a crime;