Conflict

"Hey Erik, turn up that CD bro, that songs hella tight, I haven't heard Sublime for days." "For sure, Im so glad track is over, too much to do, you finish rolling that spliff yet B?" "Yeah man, hook me up with that light on the table, puff, puff." I laid back on Erik's plush, slightly worn leather couch purchased from the Value Village store downtown and watched as he displayed a phat French inhale. I was in a cloudy state with so much on my mind I didn't know where to begin. I was once again in the basement bedroom of my closest friend Erik doing what we did best with nothing else to and needing to conversant about life.

I was at a crossroads in my life, finishing up high school, about to make a decision some said was the biggest Id ever make. What to do after high school? And who better to discuss it with than a life long friend, one who had been there more times than I could count. We both shared ideas and dreams of what we wanted to do and see, some alike, some very dissimilar, but we both knew school somewhere would be the decision. I saw many of my friends, those less confident with themselves, join the military in hopes of finding there calling, for them I hope they do, for myself military was never of the question. I had an idea of higher learning, one which was not well understood, unclear of what I might face and what failure it may result in, perhaps that is why it is most appealing, the uncertainty. "Hey man, finish this up and lets roll down to Ryan's and see what he has going on over at his pad." Said Erik. "All right" I said. As we got up and headed outside towards my shiny green, German sports sedan, eyes startled by the bright, spring, afternoon sun as we exited the front door.

Erik and I had both been excepted to Western and kept it in mind as a good option and often fathomed what it might be like to attend the same school, like we had through middle and high school. Many of my classmates and friends were being accepted by large, famous Universities far from home, some for academics, some for athletics, and others with wealthy parents. For these people I had much happiness, but at the same time a slight jealousy arose wishing I had pursued a larger school. Lack of funds, laziness in the classroom, and a fear of being to far away from home pushed me away from this type of idea. Many of my closer friends were going to attend universities in Washington or in neighboring states, this had created a friendly competition among us for who would be the most successful and who would have the most fun.

Another close friend of mine was Danny, a true friend from which a relied on many of times. Danny and I had met in high school during a freshman geometry class, and right away shared many of the same interests. We had played football together and also ran track in the spring, we went through Spanish together, we got in weekend party fights together, with this man I shared much, which made it hard to separate near the summers end. Danny as well as myself had been excepted to ITT Tech. in Phoenix Arizona, this was a serious consideration for my future, to learn a growing trade with a prosperous salary. I would have the security of a good friend in a strange new place, but I just didn't know what I wanted to do! Danny spent hours trying to convince me of the job possibilities

in computers, and the money I would be able to spend after only two years of school. I questioned him about what if computers didn't turn out to be my "thing" and I decided to peruse a different carrier, I would have no transferable credits and be forced to start all over again. Danny had understood my concerns and continued to offer what support he could, but I was decided that basic freshman classes were what I wanted. I wanted a strong foundation from which to build my future, one I could take anywhere I went, and apply it to any profession I wished. At this point in my life, not knowing what I want to with my uncertain future, could I spend so much money on a school that would only educate me about one thing I wasn't even sure if I really liked. Danny understood my concerns and offered what advice and opinions he had, but they were of no influence. I wished him the best of luck, knowing he would do well and assured him we'd stay in touch.

Danny left for school in early August, his phone calls to me are what caused the questions in my head, doubting I had made the right decision not join him in Phoenix. Danny bragged about his luxurious apartment, informed me that school was going by with ease that his school had found him a local job paying well in his field of computer networking. I was happy for him but wasn't sure if I had made the right decesion to not go, here he was having so much success and I wasn't even sure what school I was going to attend! It was time for myself to make a decision, there uncertainty of my life was making me mad, I was so close to a decision but I wasn't sure, I needed time alone to figure out what was right.

After a nights