Counseling Methods

Counseling Methods

I have been advising a male cousin of mine who had recently gotten married five months ago. I thought to myself if he would be the right candidate to choose for this practicum exercise. Building my knowledge in the counseling methods class made me realize that I had been obviously using two therapeutic settings. Counseling psychologist, which of cause I am not licensed in but I am dealing with his problems related to personal adjustment, marriage, family and career. Also pastoral counselors, which I am also not certified in but experienced maintaining a vision of spiritual wholeness rooted in my belief in the healing power of God.

My primary focus for this interview was to convince my cousin that I was not offering my advise of what I would do facing his issues. But, as I learned in counseling methods by the materials of Parrot (1997) using empathic abilities to put myself in the shoes of my cousin and see the world as he sees it. Empathy is risky because it could change me, but it had given me the chance to also acknowledge my psychological health so I would not become part of his problems, rather than part of the solution (Cavanaugh, 1990). Self- Awareness is very important to me before approaching anyone else with counseling. Yes I do have many personal issues that affect me like dealing with diabetes, losing

my mother with AIDS, working as a case manager dealing with 30 families with different problems on flexible on call hours, being part of the music ministry, raising my children, supporting them and attending college, all at once. As Cavanaugh (1990) had said, self-awareness empowers counselors to know what they are doing, why they are doing it, which problems are theirs and which belong to the client. According to Abraham Maslow, psychologist, counselors need a positive philosophy for living, a sense of meaning and purpose that give them inner strength to adjust to circumstances beyond their control.

As a Christian, the secret therefore is that I can do all things because Christ is my life. By faith, not feelings, I call upon the Lord Jesus "Let your thoughts be my thoughts, your strength my strength, Jesus You are my adequacy". That is the normal Christian life. As it is written in Phil 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, who is in me.

Now I need to balance myself assuring that appropriate techniques would be used as the ones in the practice of counseling. For me personal warmth is very important which would give my cousin the stability to express himself freely without fearing a reaction of disapproval, shock or criticism. The gestures would be applicable knowing that he has good eye contact and would observe more my reactions then just my words listening without distorting.

We met on a Saturday afternoon at my cousin's residence. His spouse was not there she had gone out shopping. He felt more comfortable without her there saying she would disagree or criticize what ever he would say. I knew he needed personal warmth. They did have some marriage problems and his wife would treat him as a looser. I noticed that since she worked and had a higher salary then him, she considered herself more valuable. He's twenty-four years old, didn't finish High School and is currently unemployed.

I brought up to him the awareness of values and how they are the convictions or beliefs that determine our goals and how we attempt to meet them. My cousin did not have any type of mood disorder, what he needed was encouragement and build his self-esteem to establish and accomplish his goals. He does have many talents and abilities that he does not recognize. That gave me a chance to explain to him