Courtship

Can you imagine falling in love with someone, planning a marriage and family before meeting the one you love? Courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. It involves a complete process that includes the families, especially the parents of two individuals who want to marriage with one another. Also, during a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if they are suitable for marriage (Albo).

The process of courtship consists of an unwritten step-by-step process. According to Albo, although courtship process do not use manual to guide people, the people involved follow the same five phases. The first phase of courtship is attracting attention. People use a variety of means, such as posture, clothing, facial expressions, movement, and other related non-verbal communications, to express that he or she is present and available to others. The next stage is to watch for others’ positive body language in close proximity. Once two phases of courtship are complete, verbal communication can happen such as a simple �Hello!’ The fourth phase is physical touch. It begins innocently with an �accidental’ bumping of one’s legs when they sit very closely. Last stage is intimacy and sex. Some couples may follow this stage, which includes close physical communication such as cuddling, hand-holding, stroking, gazing, kissing and other affectionate movements. However, because of the different culture, religion and country, courtship process has been practiced in varied way.

In some Christian families, the process of courtship is being practiced. It involves a set of requirements and a step-by-step process. There are initial requirements that the people who involved in the courtship process are expected. The couple is expected and encouraged to fulfill some standards. For instance, a young man should not seek out a marriage partner until two individuals are emotionally and spiritually prepared for marriage. Most the young man should be prepared financially for marriage such as having a steady job and owning savings. Also, the young lady should be completely prepared for marriage. For example, she would be expected to have occupational skills and a strong educational background in a chosen field. Most importantly, the couple should have the ability to manage a household. Youth are encouraged to make the written public vows of fidelity and chastity in waiting for marriage. They are also encouraged to avoid exposure to contamination and temptation for evil such as romance novels. All aspects of the courtship process are justified through bible scripture ("The Modern Courtship Process"). The young man and lady are expected to perform those requirements before the courtship process may begin.

In this more traditional process, the young man always initiates the courtship process. When a young man finds himself interested in a particular girl, he will speak with her within a public setting before committing himself to courtship. He would try to discover if the feelings he has about the girl are mutual by casually speaking with her after church or over the telephone. Then, the young man would contact the girl's father to request the permission to court. After that, her father has a serious discussion with him to see if he is ready for marriage, and speaks with his daughter to find out how she feels about the boy. If the father and the daughter agree that the young man is suitable, the permission is given to court. Moreover, the parents provide a protective environment for the couple to court. For example, they will have dinner with the family. Group activities are available for the couple to engage in through church. Private conversations are strongly encouraged. Telephones are often used for privacy, but the couple can usually only speak face to face in public. Physical touching in any way is not acceptable. Letter writing is strongly encouraged. ("How Does Courtship Works"). Most people follow these steps when they engage in the courtship process.

In some traditional societies, courtship is the practice of arranged marriages. There is a type of courtship called Omiai in Japan. Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and resumes of potential mates. The resumes frequently include the name, age, health, education, occupation and marital status of all members of the candidate’s family. Then, if the couple agrees, there will be a