Cousin Josephina

COUSIN JOSEPHINA

THE OLD SCHOOL RELIGION

One Saturday we went to New Haven, to my mother's second cousin Josephina's meat, vegetable and whatever else store. We needed the stuff for the sauce. Cousin Josephina ran an A #1 store in her day. The meat and vegetables could not be any leaner or fresher. All the "Old Schoolers" went there to shop. She even sold jars of her sauce. No one made sauce like Cousin Josephina. She passed on - I mean she's resting Ð'- a couple of years ago, and her sons run the store now. "They are o.k., but stupid when they think they can sell second rate vegetables to their customers," my mom said.

My mom was looking through the tomatoes, she wasn't happy. She kept saying, "Ah, o.k., not great. Rats wouldn't eat them!" Finally her cousin Joey came over.

"O.k., o.k., you gotta cause trouble like all the rest of them right?"

My mom looked at him, "What do you mean? I didn't do nothing. All I said was your tomatoes are no good and your mother would have fed them to the rats to keep them away from her garden. It's the truth, your mother is mad."

Joey looked at her, "My mother is dead. Dead for two years now. She's not mad, she doesn't know about no tomatoes. Shut up and get your food." He walked away.

I looked at my mom, she gave him one of her Italian hand motions and then I heard her whisper, "Josephina, I'm sorry. He needs a good slap. He misses you."

"Mom, mom who are you whispering to?" I said.

"Cousin Josephina," she said.

"But mom, isn't she dead?" I said sounding kind of scared.

"Shh, resting, she's resting. Her kids made her crazy and she had to go for a rest," she said as we walked to the check- out.

We waited in line, cousin Joey went slow on purpose to aggravate my mother. As we waited, an old woman and her crying 6 year old granddaughter came in. My mom looked at her and nodded as if she knew her. The old woman was slow shopping and the kid was running around wild. Cousin Joey came out from behind the checkout, probably to aggravate my mom some more. He started to yell at the kid for touching everything. My mother leaned over to me, "Watch, Yaffa, watch. Cousin Josephina is here." I wanted to leave, to run. She finally cracked up.

"Someone call Animal Control please, save my mom," I said to myself. Cousin Joey stood in front of the kid while she touched the tomatoes. He wasn't fast enough. The kid took a tomato, squeezed it in her hand and wiped it on Cousin Joey's white apron. The old lady came running over. She took the kid and was pulling her out of the store. The kid was screaming and the old lady bumped into Cousin Joey's baskets of onions, potatoes and mushrooms. The baskets went all over. I meant the floor was