Cybersex

Definition

We are currently living in a world dominated on many fronts by the Internet. For some people, the Internet is their primary means of life - they communicate solely by e-mail, instant messages, and message boards, they shop on-line, and they meet new people in Internet chat rooms. For this group of individuals, communication with the outside world is limited to the daily routine of work. As a result, the Internet is altering patterns of social communication and interpersonal relationships. This is nowhere more true than in the field of sexuality (Cooper 1998). Furthermore, sex is the most frequently used search term on the Internet today (Brown 2002).

With the rapidly enlarging role of computers in homes and offices, psychotherapists and addiction counselors are increasingly seeing clients with a new problem, "cybersex addiction." Cybersex can be defined as the use of digitalized sexual content (visual, auditory, or written), obtained either over the Internet or as data retrieved by a computer, for the purpose of sexual arousal and stimulation (Schneider 1994). Cybersex is a phenomenon unknown before the mid 1980's. As use of computers and the Internet has exploded in the United States and other countries, accessing the Internet to obtain sexual stimulation has increased considerably in frequency. In 2000, about one in four regular Internet users, or 21 million Americans, visited one of the more than 60,000 sex sites on the Web at least once a month (Griffiths 2001).

In addition to viewing and/or downloading pornography along with masturbation, Dr. Deborah Corley and Dr. Jennifer Schneider (2002) say that cybersex activities also include reading and writing sexually explicit letters and stories, visiting sexually oriented chat rooms, placing ads to meet sexual partners, e-mailing to set up personal meetings with someone, and engaging in interactive online affairs sometimes using electronic cameras for real-time viewing of each other. While some people will eventually move away from the Internet back to the real world, others will escalate their involvement, arranging meetings with online contacts for in-person sex.

Cybersex addiction and cyber-relationship addiction are claimed to be specific subtypes of Internet Addiction (Young, 1998). It is estimated that one in five Internet addicts are engaged in some form of online sexual activity (primarily viewing online pornography and/or engaging in cybersex). Furthermore, men are more likely to view online pornography, while women are more likely to engage in erotic chat (Young et al., 2000).

Researchers have formed a checklist of warning signs of cyber-sex addiction (Young et al., 2000). These warning signs include: regularly spending significant amount of time in chat rooms and private messaging with the only purpose of finding cybersex; feeling preoccupied with using the Internet to find on-line sexual partners; frequently using anonymous communication to engage in sexual fantasies not typically carried out in real-life; anticipating the next on-line session with the expectation of finding sexual arousal or gratification; frequently moving from cybersex to phone sex (or even real-life meetings); hiding on-line interactions from significant others; feeling guilt or shame from or about on-line use; accidentally being aroused by cybersex at first, and now actively seeking it out when online; masturbating online while engaged in erotic chat; and less interest with real-life sexual partner and preferring cybersex as the primary form of sexual gratification.

It has been found that people who suffer from low self-esteem, a severely distorted body image, untreated sexual dysfunction, or a prior sexual addiction are more at risk to develop cybersex addictions (Young et al., 2000). In particular, sex addicts often turn to the Internet as a new and safe sexual means to fulfill their compulsions without the expense of costly premium rate telephone lines, the fear of being seen at an adult bookstore, or the fear of disease among prostitutes.

In September of 1998, New York experienced its first ever internet-related sexual assault case that arose from e-mail correspondence between two university students (Ullman 1998). The case involved a thirty year-old doctoral candidate and a twenty year-old English and Philosophy major. The two met in an America On-Line chat room, and decided to hold a chat via instant messenger. The two discussed their parents, educational backgrounds and career aspirations, as well as their prior experiences in computer role-playing games (RPG's).

After only a short time, she told him her first sexual fantasy - her yearning to make a snuff film. As a response to this, he told of his interests in sex, magic and the occult. Their relationship was sporadic for several weeks after their initial encounter due to the fact that he was traveling, but upon his return, they e-mailed several times a day. His e-mails were short and too the point, whereas hers showed that she was the active pursuer using gory or lewd language and talking about murder, homicidal impulses, and dismemberment obsessions.

It was she who first suggested they have an off-screen meeting. In a long e-mail she wrote about the fact that a roommate of hers had been raped, and that she wanted nothing more than to go home, but she could not. She was so sad. He responded by giving her his telephone number saying she could call him if she needed to talk to someone. After a five-hour telephone conversation, they met on November 21, 1996. The two had dinner and she willingly went back to his apartment where they looked at photos in an art book, watched a film they had discussed in their e-mails, and talked about many things. She then took off her clothes (at his request), laid down, and let him tie her to his futon chair-bed.

For the next twenty hours, she said, he gagged and choked her, burned her with hot candle wax, bit her breasts until they bled, and beat her with a black wood karate-type club on her legs and genital area. These happenings are attributed to their exchange on the Internet - their sexually explicit, and dark exchanges on the Internet.

How can we in real life live up to the character we create for ourselves to portray on the web? Truth is, we cannot. Online we live in whatever world it is that we create for ourselves and allow others to actively participate. Sometimes these encounters are simply posting messages, or chatting, but other times people push the envelope and turn lewd and sexual. These encounters can leave scars (either emotional or physical) or lead to an addiction or an obsession. More importantly, these encounters can lead to vicious crimes either in the virtual world or the real world.

Analysis