Divorce In American Society

Throughout the world there are many instances of divorce. In America alone in 2000 there are over twenty million divorces (Children 1). Since divorce has become much more common among American society, it is also becoming more acceptable. Some marriages end without a need to bring children into the nasty divorce. Other marriages, unfortunately, include children. This is where a huge problem may result for the child. Over one million of these divorces effect children (Children 1). It can definitely be said that divorce shapes the attitude and future behaviors of children that have parents who chose to get a divorce.

Infants seem to show small subtle signs of their emotions of divorce. Infants can react greatly to their parents energy level and mood. These small beings tend to have upset stomachs or spit up more than usual (Stewart 2). There seems to be a smaller amount of affect on infants because of their developing brain state. It is important that these small babies do not hear or see their parents fighting. Infants react very strongly to loud sounds.

Different age groups may respond to divorce very differently. " Children from three to five years of age frequently believe they cause their parents' divorce" (extension 1). These children see their parents' fighting and can not accurately conclude what happened within their family. These young children hear screaming and fighting and can't conclude that this fighting is nor because of them. These ideas cause the young child to believe they are the ones to blame. Once these children have this idea in their

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head, many psychological effects can take place. A young child can have fear of being

abandoned or left alone (Stewart 1). This is mostly caused by the parents no longer together to form a secure family. This makes it extremely hard for a child to enjoy and engage in school activities. Although these children want a parent around for

security purposes, they may show signs of aggressiveness towards the parent. This tends to happen because the child is too young to know how to show their emotions towards what is going on in their life. At this young age it is hard for the child to fully understand what is going on between their parents. The child could feel as though the divorce was because of something they did, when in reality they may have nothing to do with the break up. Along with these acts, young school age children tend to turn on baby-like behavior, resorting to their old toys or blankets. This is also another sign for the need of security.

School age children tend to have to hardest time dealing with divorce. At this age children are old enough to know their emotions about their parents' divorce. Although they are old enough to know their emotions, they are not old enough to know how to deal with these new founded feelings. Children may feel immense anger, resentment, or embarrassment over their parents' separation. Some of these children within this age group may complain from frequent headaches or stomachaches because of all the worrying they are doing because of the divorce (Stewart 1). It may also be hard for these children to engage in social situations. Many girls who are in this age group going

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through their parents' divorce tend to be very shy and unsociable. The boys dealing with this event tend to show their emotions with anger. Both of these situations can be the start

of serious conditions including depression.

Adolescents tend to show similar feelings to that of the other two age groups. Some of these include depression, anger, loneliness, and guilt (Shansky 2). This age group is old enough to know their emotions and how to express them, in most cases. Once their parent's have split, adolescents feel as though they must take control of their families. This is a result of their parent's own behavior after the divorce. An adolescent sees their parents feeling depressed and unmotivated and feel as though it is their own personal responsibility to take control of their family.

There is also a high level of stress resulting in anxiety within an adolescents own personal relationships. Adolescents believe there is no chance of getting married or

keeping a marriage. All of these ideas that develop are because of divorce. Girls that are

in their teen years may experience a sense of comfort in men. This results in early teen sexual activity. Girls wanting a sense of self and confide in sexual activity also means early teen pregnancy. Within dating situations, adolescents have more distrust and anxiety. Some may also be prone to breakups or may not even want a serious relationship. With marriage, the affects of divorce can be positive and negative. Some of these adolescents of divorce will have marriages of their own that end in separation. A positive affect of divorce adolescents can have in their own marriages is having a strong

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sense of commitment. This all depends on how easily the individual can cope with the divorce. If the adolescent can understand and come to terms with their parents for their differences, the outlook is far more positive.

Sometimes the affects of divorce on a college student can be overlooked. Since a college student is past their teen years and is considered an adult, many think that they are not affected by divorce. As written by Janet Shansky, "Some studies show that divorce can have the same affect on college students as that of a younger aged child." This shows that just because a person is older, it can still be very traumatic. These feelings are mostly because the college student is away at school and feels uninformed about the divorce. A college student may also feel hostile towards the parents. Other feelings are anxiety, because of payments for school.

Gender is also a common aspect