Dysfuctional Family Life

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY LIFE

The reality television show, The Osbournes, starring Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon, along with their two teenage children airs on MTV. Their family life, as portrayed by the television show, leaves much to be desired, because their lives are filled with chaos, total disorder, and a swarm of offensive language. Yet, there is also clear evidence of love for one another. Andrew Matte (2002), a writer for the Toronto Star in Canada, agrees that the Osbournes' family isn't as dysfunctional as what the general public tends to believe. Matte states that sociologists who have looked intensively at the family have concluded that Ozzy and his wife Sharon are responsible, loving parents. Can one family, that is said to be dysfunctional by most of the general public, still be concluded as being a responsible, loving and functional family?

Dysfunctionality

While the public in general looks at the Osbournes as a dysfunctional family, Matte's comment suggests that there is enough evidence for sociologists to deem the family functional. If the Osbournes are labeled "functional" perhaps one needs a new definition of the word dysfunctional. Andrew Marshall (2003), a psychologist who specializes in couples counseling explains that the term dysfunctional means not being able to function well and/or a social behavior that weakens the stability of society. Marshall declares that the term 'dysfunctional' is psychological gibberish that certain therapists like to use in order to sound more convincing. Thus, in a sense, the term dysfunctional seems to be an assumption that "narrow-minded" people tend to make when they have no idea about another person, the circumstances that that person is dealing with or what they have dealt with in the past. Marshall explains how easy it is to take our own personal life and the standards that we life with and try to force them on other people. However, in a tolerant society, one may need to learn that because someone lives differently, doesn't make him or her dysfunctional.

Family Life

In an essay, Gary Soto, (2004) an author of New and Selected Poems, displays his family in contrast to an ideal family, portrayed by the television shows like "Leave It to Beaver" and "Father Knows Best." These families are portrayed as to leading very comfortable lives filled with nothing but love. There were never any big disagreements, and they all went about their day, as happy as could be with not a care in the world. When Soto attempts to compare his family to the ones portrayed by television he states that, "Whereas the Beaver's family enjoyed dessert in dishes at the table, out mom sent us outside"(p. 29). He goes on to describe how he went outside to gaze longingly at the neighbor's fruit growing in their yards. Is Beaver's family considered to be functional and is Gary Soto's family dysfunctional, or can both be considered as being functional?

Stephanie Coontz (2004), a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, states that the people watching ideal families on television know that's not the way families function in everyday reality. Everything isn't always as smooth as portrayed on television. There's always a few more bumps and turns in the road before one gets to the final destination. Coontz goes on to say that people watch these ideal families on television to see "how families were suppose to live - and to get a little reassurance that they were headed in the right directions" (p.38).

Dysfunctional Family

Beth Brophy (1995), a U.S News Senior Editor, states that dysfunctional families are different from pleasant ones by the ways that they deal with the issues of control, power, and relationship closeness. Brophy believes that families can be grouped into five levels, with the first one being optimal. According to Brophy, this type of family is portrayed through television shows similar to The Cosby's, where both parents share the power equally, the differences between family members are accepted, and each family member is able to express their feelings without a fear of rejection. With the families at the optimal level, the final power of rules lies within the parents, but the children are able to make reasonable suggestions and the parents then consider the children's opinion when making the final decision. Even then, the rules are able to bend and change with time, as the situations needs.

Skipping a level and going to level three, the midrange level, Brophy describes her version of ordinary people. According to Brophy, in this type of family, the rules are controlled by what one should have done, rule breakers feel guilty, and the idea of control is managed by manipulation, guilt and intimidation. Brophy claims that these families, for the most part, are able to function okay. The problem that Brophy suggests is that there are many rules for what a "good, loving person" should do (You say most families section, para.1). She gives examples of things including a good wife keeps hte house clean or makes love to her husband when he wants, a good husband doesn't work on the weekends, and good children listen and obey their parents. The issue that is raised at this level is, the rules