Effective Leaders' Habits Change

Effective Leaders' Habits Change

The Thesis

"Anyone can take a leadership point of view" (Clawson, 3). The difference in leaders and followers is leaders are willing to make the changes necessary to stay out front and to take the emotional blows and confrontations that are tossed to those who choose to be in leaders. Leaders are individuals that choose to develop within themselves proactive vision and direction towards specific goals. They develop specific habits, which they model, mold and change over time to remain successful leaders and visionaries, regardless of the pains of growth and development that come with the position.

Introduction

A man named Frank Joyce gave me a quote, the author is unknown; "the pain of change is temporary, the pain of regret is forever." Personal change is painful at any point in an individual's life. The point is to decide to "live" through it.

Our paper and this whole semester have been focused on leaders and developing the leaders within us. The last decade of my life has been specifically about that very thing. I could model and write about others. However, I feel that I can more closely relate to the entire point of text of class, "Getting Below the Surface" (Clawson, subtitle), by addressing the growth and development of my own habits at a budding leader in my family, community and in my current and future careers.

Henry Kissinger said, "the task of a great leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not beenÐ'... Leaders must invoke an alchemy of great vision. Those leaders who do not are ultimately judged failures, even though they may be popular at the moment" (Clawson, 3). The one divine reason that I feel I must continually improve and find balance in an otherwise unbalanced life was that I choose to become a mother of three beautiful children. These were the "people" that I felt a strong need to direct and lead. Thus in 1982, when my first daughter was born, my job began as a leader, whether I was prepared for it or not. Unfortunately, life is not without its difficulties and with the birth of my son (1983) and then my youngest daughter (1986) a divorce followed, then a remarriage and work. There has always been work.

At this point, being a leader was nothing more than existing and survival. To the contrary, in our text, the basic definition of what leadership is and how it works is presented as; "leadership is first, the ability to influence others; second, the willingness to influence others; and third, the ability to do that in a way such that they respond willingly (Clawson, 38). The real lessons in leadership and getting below the surface of who I was and who I could become were only beginning.

I had been reluctant to think of myself as a leader. I would rather see positive changes occur in an individuals' life which I had influenced. Over the years I have come to view and accept the fact that I am in a leadership role, primarily as a parent, and regardless of my title or position or lack thereof I will always be a leader. Therefore, my goal is to change and become the best I can be by continually focusing on "preserving and enhancing the greatest asset" I haveÐ'--me (Covey, 288). This is Steven Covey's seventh habit, that of "Sharpen the Saw."1

Topic

In 1999, I was in the middle of what therapist call a "significant emotional event," which forced a massive amount of change and growth into my life during my late thirties. Truthfully, two years prior I was ready to accept "mediocrity." I was willing to take life as it was with the paradigm that life was at it best, even though I was far from happy or content. I felt I could not reach a position were I was emotionally or intellectually happy. I held a position of respect in the community as a leader. I was an active member of the Chamber of Commerce and a responsible and forthright business owner and operator. In my work, I was the co-owner and manager of a large medical practice and successful business interests, which included real estate property management, administration of a large number of personnel and many other business related activities.

What was the biggest struggle of my life was that I had no formal education to get me to the position that I held. As Covey so bluntly states it, I was in a "rush to respond to the daily, press of mail, phone messages, meetings, and emergenciesÐ'...working on urgent, high-priority items and, in so doing, losing sight (all along) ofÐ'--and even the desire to gain sight ofÐ'--the long view (Clawson, 98). I had not developed any "independent will toward becoming principleÐ'--centered" (Covey, 147). I was managing my life rather than leading and developing my own proactive nature.

My knowledge of important management decisions was based on aggressive character, fear of failure and a very good group of professional mentors and leaders who I could query and learn. In desperation, I attended seminars on management, based on Franklin Covey's time management theories and practices. I was working strictly from one crisis management situation to another, constantly learning along the way.

I was under a tremendous amount of stress. I had been struggling to build a business with my second husband since I was in my late twenties. I was now thirty-seven. The one good quality that I had was that I was willing to accept that I did not have all the answers, however, I was not afraid to ask for help. When trouble struck I started looking for solutions and answers to the question, "why did something happen the way it did?"

Legally separated from my husband and now my career (our businesses), I desperately began down a road of personal change and growth. I did not look at anyone in the sense of "what was a leader?", "who was a leader" and "what qualities did a good leader have?"2 My human relations' skills and habits were uneducated guesses, direction from others (often misguided) and luck, up until this point in my life.

It was not until a divorce, which forced an immediate career change and division of property and business interests that indirectly pointed me in the direction of some of the greatest lessons I would learn in my life. The funny part, as I look at it now, is I had thought life was over and at its best; but, I was not even close to finding self-actualization or success.

In an attempt to answer the many self esteem questions that would naturally come up during any divorce or loss of a career,