Emotional Intelligence

The term "emotional intelligence" debuted in several scientific articles written by John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey during the early 1990s. Emotional intelligence is defined as the compilation of four kinds of skills: perceiving and expressing emotions, understanding emotions, using emotions, and managing emotions.

"Emotional intelligence matters twice as much as technical and analytical skills combined for star performances," Goleman writes. "And the higher people move up in the company, the more crucial emotional intelligence becomes."

Emotional intelligence is not about "being nice." Too much niceness can indicate low confidence and assertiveness, indicating a lack of emotional intelligence. You may have witnessed the debris that certain "harmony-hungry" managers leave behind. They crave peace so much that important issues and performance problems fester far too long, sometimes to the point of no return.

The Five Pillars of Emotional Intelligence:

Ð'* Self-Awareness

People with a healthy sense of self-awareness are "comfortable in their own skin." They understand their strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and impact on others. One of the most telling signs of self-awareness is how well a person responds to constructive criticism.

Ð'* Self-Regulation

Not only do the emotionally intelligent understand their emotions, but also they can demonstrate maturity and restraint when revealing them. They do not squelch their feelings, instead expressing them in a manner that shows a high level of judgment and control.

Ð'* Motivation

Managers generally are ambitious. However, emotionally intelligent leaders are motivated by a strong inner drive, not simply money or titles. They are resilient and optimistic in disappointments. It takes a lot to break their spirit or thwart their confidence.

Ð'* Empathy

Managers with empathy are not necessarily easy on their staffs. They do, however, possess the compassion and understanding of human nature that enables them to connect emotionally with others. Empathy allows them to provide stellar customer service and respond genuinely to an employee's frustration or concern.

Ð'* People Skills

Emotionally intelligent managers are widely respected by their bosses, peers, and employees. They like people and are savvy enough to know what makes them tick. Their ability to quickly build rapport and trust with those on whom they depend seems almost second nature. Power wars, backbiting, and duplicity are not their style.

An emotionally intelligent manager chooses his or her battles wisely, behaves assertively