English Oral

The Unrealistic Portrayal of True Love

Why is true love presented so unrealistically in some literature and visual media?

True love in the Western world - to borrow Denis de Rougemont's useful term - has come to mean, in the popular imagination, many different things. It is something that is pure and innocent, utter faithful and never questionable, perfect and unchanging - an elementary part of our human lives that posses such tangible strength, it can 'conquer all'. Yet, if true love is really what literature and visual media portray it to be, this instant and permanent, indescribable emotional connection between two people, why does it so often end in tragedy and why do we see so many divorces? If true love is all what Perrault's narrative Sleeping Beauty, and William Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 quintessentially portray it to be, why haven't I 'fallen into love at first sight', 'married after one dance', and thus 'lived happily ever after'? The fact is, that I, like many others, have succumbed to the unrealistic portrayal of true love in literature and visual media, believing that it is this instant and permanent element, and thus given myself unrealistic expectations.

The development of this polar view towards true love in literature began during the time of Shakespeare, whose works proclaimed the "instancy and permanency of true love to the human condition" (Sparknotes, 2007). Being the true romantic that he was, much of Shakespeare's works were dedicated to exploring what he considered the fundamental characteristics and attributes of true love. His Sonnet 116 explores the view that true love is indeed forever permanent and unchanging, proclaiming that it is the "marriage of true minds" and does not "admit impediments". This first quatrain asserts that true love is immortal, perfect and unchanging; it neither changes on its own nor allows itself to be changed, even when we encounter change in those we love. In describing true love as being this perfect and permanent emotion, Shakespeare essentially bestows his readers with unrealistic expectations, because any normal, loving relationship is filled with disagreements, lying and tragedy - making the experience far from perfect. Romeo and Juliet, arguably Shakespeare's "greatest piece of romantic literature" (Hamlyn, 2001) paradoxically illustrates that love is indeed far from perfect, as it was love itself which drove both Romeo and Juliet to their deaths. Furthermore, in proclaiming that love is permanent and forever unchanging through a series of seafaring metaphors in quatrain two, such as "it is an ever fixed mark... that looks in the tempest and is never shaken", it seems to me that Shakespeare overshadows the reality of love - because as Van Gough once said "...true love changes as we truly change... it is never as it was yesterday... and forever what it will be tomorrow..." (as cited in Cowie, 2004). I believe that our love does change as we find changes in those we love - as we get older, fatter, poorer, uglier and angrier, it's just human nature. Spanish Tragedy, written by Thomas Kyd during the Elizabethan era perfectly illustrates how love can change with circumstance; with Bel-Imperia, the main female protagonist of the story falls out of love with her once wealthy and powerful husband Hieronmino, because he lost all his power and money. This example highlights the fact that love does indeed change as circumstances change, as we find changes in those we love and that it is not permanent, perfect construct. Shakespeare's construction of love is clearly one which promotes permanency and perfection, and foreshadows reality and actuality.

Whilst Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 comment's primarily on the overarching sentiment of true love's timeless and immutable nature, suggesting that it is perfect and unchanging, Sleeping Beauty, a narrative written by Perrault in 1634, explores the unrealistic qualities and feelings that true love bestows. As Carol Oates notes, "in the fourteenth century world of Perrault's Sleeping Beauty, true love possesses such tangible strength that it can defeat anything... even seemingly unbeatable curses or fearsome dragons" (2004). This portrayal of true love, implying its strength and power, is similarly constructed in Shakespeare's Sonnet 116, where he asserts that love "looks on tempests and is never shaken" - that love is not susceptible to storms. Love is susceptible to the power of lust, the pitfalls of lying and the problems of cheating - we see this today with the increasing rates of infidelity, divorce and marriage separations. Both Shakespeare and Perrault provide their readers with unrealistic expectations towards the supposed 'strength' and 'power' of true love, because love is an element of our lives, which is weak and susceptible to the smallest things, let alone the ferocity of a storm and the fear of a dragon. Furthermore, Sleeping Beauty establishes that true love is indeed instant, highlighted by the fact that Briar Rose, the main protagonist, falls completely and irrevocably in love at first sight when she sees the mysterious stranger, whose name, incidentally, she does not yet know. The faeries cannot faze Rose out of such 'true love', despite the fact she is a princess and will soon marry a prince. Instead, Rose flees her room, distraught at the possibility that she will never be with her true love. This supposed 'love at first sight' is similarly constructed