Family Created

The Family Created

Kristina N Simmons

Professor Hawkins

English 320

February 6, 2005

The dream of a getting married, starting a family , a house with a white picket fence, two kids and a dog eludes a huge number of couples in America and abroad. The perfect picture of a family is usually made complete with the addition of children. There are now more options to create a family than the traditional natural conception. The advances in technology have opened up the option of assisted reproduction such as artificial insemination, invitro fertilization, donor egg or sperm, and assisted hatching. Another option for family creation is adoption. Each option has advantages and drawbacks. With either option there are emotional, financial, and moral issues associated with these options. Finding a perfect fit for the fertility impaired couple, each option, assisted reproduction, or adoption, must be reviewed and weighed for the emotional, moral, and financial aspects, to see whether the end justifies the means.

It is important to explain the emotional issues associated with infertility. A couple who has tried for many months to conceive a child and find that there are physical issues that are causing this continued problem, are emotionally mortified. The shock causes feelings of loss and failure that at affect the very core of a person, delivers a terrible blow to their self esteem and self value. Once the shock has passed and decisions need to be made about the option of assisted reproduction or adoption, a whole new slew of emotions arise.

In assisted reproduction the initial testing and prodding and digging into the couples lives and sexual history causes a huge amount stress and emotional strain. There are skeletons in the closet for most people that are exposed, in an attempt to find a cause for the infertility. The secrets exposed very possibly can lead to a breakdown of the trust respect and bonds for a couple, discussions then become loaded and judgmental. Once the testing is over and the relationship is back on a somewhat even keel, the treatment plan comes along. The person who is found to have the main infertility problem suffers additional emotional trauma besides being the cause of the problem they are now being pumped with either pills or shots of hormones. These hormones cause such a change in that persons chemistry their emotions are swinging from moment to moment. The time comes near for the plan to come to fruition, time for the additional procedure for the assisted reproduction, be it surgery, injection, or planned intercourse, the pressure is on and emotions are running high. The usual time from initial testing to this step in the plan can be anywhere from twelve weeks to six months, and all the waiting is a tremendous pressure in itself. The next step is to wait yet again, to see if the procedure was successful, This final wait is usually about ten days. Success or failure brings about a new set of emotional challenges, then there is the bill.

Adoption on the other hand can be just as or even more emotionally charged than assisted reproduction. There are several evaluations and tests that a couple must undergo in the adoption process. There is a medical assessment that consist of having a blood tests, mental evaluations, history of all major illnesses, hospitalizations, surgeries, accidents, communicable diseases, psychiatric treatments, alcohol and drug treatments family medical history and a horde of other items, which cause the same type of emotional strain as the assisted reproductive tests. There is a home inspection that requires the department of health to come and investigate the couples dwelling for a number of things such as cleanliness, safety, lead, temperature of the water and refrigerator, placement of fire extinguishers, and smoke detectors. The preparations needed to ensure that the home will meet with the stringent guidelines of the inspector is a emotionally straining endeavor. There is training, fingerprinting and criminal investigations that all take a number of weeks to start and complete. There are so many people involved in the process that it may seem to become a endless interview and evaluation. Frustration