Finding Reason In T.S Eliots "The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock"

"Happiness comes to those who wait," a phrase that gives people hope in times of troubles. It is meant to give people something to look forward to when things are rough. Although this phrase gives light to a dark state of life, the hard thing to face is, happiness does not just come to all those who need it. Happiness is a state of being that you create for yourself. Its definition is one that you write on your own to fit your desires. Many people define being happy as being successful, having a wonderful family, or making your future dreams a reality. While all of those things can make people happy, many people long for a force more complex, a blissful state called love. However, one can only be fully loved if they love themselves first. When you don't allow yourself to be in the state of mind of accepting yourself, others cannot accept you as who you are either, such as the case in the "Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S Eliot. Prufrock is longs to love, and be loved in return, but he is unconsciously holding himself back by making excuses about why no one would want to love him. He just waits around for someone to be completely drawn to him.

People all over the world find love everyday, so why is it that something so universal is not experienced by all? Like happiness, love is something you cannot just expect to show up at your doorstep. You need to help yourself, you need to work for it.

One could say that Prufrock was a man who looked for love, but just could not find it.

He believed he was too skinny, too bald, and too old to have a chance for everlasting love and life companionship. He felt women were to sophisticated for a man like him, hence they would not give him a chance, which causes him to settle for less. He settles for a late night of empty passion, followed by an early morning rise to avoid facing the woman whom he had shared the bed with.

"The muttering retreats

Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels

And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:

Streets that follow like a tedious argument

Of insidious intent

To lead you to an overwhelming question . . .

Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"

Let us go and make our visit."

He tries to replace sex with love, as many lonely people do. Prufrock is just looking for someone to long for him the way he longs for someone. While experiencing sex, he feels

wanted, even though he is engaging in a meaningless act, and he knows that. He is wasting precious time on women he will forget the next restless night that he just wants to get over with, when he should be opening himself up for better relationships that stretch far beyond mere sex.

When Prufrock says, "Let us go and make our visit." (Eliot. 910), it is almost suggesting that he just wants to get the act over with. For Prufrock, it is all just meaningless sex, for the most part, however, while having sex, I believe he gives himself the illusion of being in a real relationship. He almost convinces himself into believing that during that time that he is engaging in this act, he is emotionally and physically one with her. With all these encounters with these various whorish women, he began to set his standards of women low, to meet those of the women he believes needed him. That is why he believes certain women are too sophisticated for him, because the only connections he has made are with whores.

The man T.S. Eliot portrays surrounds himself with women who don't care what he looks like, they only want him for one reason. I believe that, to Prufrock, this is a safe place for his mind to be, where he has no further expectations beyond the bedroom. His image, name, or personality isn't a factor in the reason these women are engaging in sexual acts with him. So, although Prufrock wants love, he