Finding Yourself

Finding yourself is a part of growing up; a part that is hard, long and confusing, and now imagine having to find yourself in those harsh teen years with one more factor: am I American or am I Mexican? This is the question that a lot of young adults have to ask themselves in consequence of being brought at a young age to the United States. In this paper I will discuss the experience of five people including myself that were brought in to the states at a very young age all with their parents dream of giving them a better life and future.

How can you feel a part of your country if all your life you have lived somewhere else? Being part of your country means knowing your culture, your language and your people, but how do you do that when you have lived in a different place most of your life. All of the people interviewed where brought into the United States before they even started kindergarten. Most of them only know the part of the culture that there parents have thought them, but it is not the same as to live it experience it. Though there might be many Mexicans in this city is not the same as to interact with them in their country, see them for what they are not what they have integrated to. All of us have tried to keep our culture alive, celebrating Christmas the "Mexican way", opening gifts the 24th at midnight instead of the 25th, eating tamales instead of turkey and dancing to cumbias. Also the gifts do not stop on Christmas, we wait for el Dia De Los Reyes Magos to eat our rosca. We all want to feel Mexican we all want to be proud of where we were born, but we also had to integrate this new culture. We do go out trick or treating, and sorry but we do not celebrate el Dia De Los Muertos. So what are we? Are we Mexicans are we American or are we a little bit of both just like the people that were born in this country and that have Mexican parents. The truth of the matter is that we all feel like we are Mexican-Americans, yes we were born in Mexico, but we were raised in the United States; "I am Mexican, but I live an American lifestyle" (Dircio, March 2007), or as

another of us puts it " I feel like I embody both cultures effectively, I am Mexican-American in every sense of the word, I don't feel that I am more one than the other" (Rodriguez, March 2007)

Not only are we missing out on our country, we also had a hard time integrating. Many will say that if you come at an early age to this country you can integrate easier, but if you are and adult and you have a child that grew up here they can help you with the language and communicating with others; but what about us? We did not have anyone to help us learn the language. The first day was terrifying: new school, no friends and a complete different language. When I asked my interviewed they all had the same answer when answering what was the hardest integration, "I would say the English language because my household were all immigrants including cousins who were at that time in jr. high or high school...they were barely starting to learn the language...so it was kind of hard for me because nobody in the household could help me with English homework . That's the reason why I had Spanish classes till I was like in the 4th grade. I believe that up to this day, my English isn't that great as far as speaking is concerned. I think I write better in English than speak it" (Palacios, March 2007). Having to go to school and not only learn the necessary but also a different language is hard, having no help at home makes it twice at hard. Though this is a great obstacle in the immigration to this country once you have mastered both languages like all of us did it makes you feel twice as good. Now we belong we can speak their language and we learned it all on our own. Not only did we go over that barrier, but all the people interviewed including myself were in Honors and AP classes (yes, AP English).

Not only was English an obstacle, but all of us have to deal with our immigration status. Even though we all have attended school and excelled in our education we

do not have the same privilege as the students that are born here. When asked what obstacles they encountered because of their legal status one of the interviewed's response was "Basically everything that has to do with the government. Due to the fact that I do not have a social, I had to pay to apply for colleges my senior year, I did not qualify for FAFSA" (Palacios, March 2007). Having excelled in school is not enough for us we also have to have a social number to be able to fulfill our dreams. At a point in my life