Gender Bias

Gender Bias in the Family Court System

Imagine you have been married for 10 years, have two kids that you have devoted your life to, and then one day your wife comes home to tell you that she wants a divorce. A few questions that stand out in your mind if you are a father are: What is going to happen to the kids? Am I ever going to get to see them again? How much support am I going to be obligated to pay? "Fathers are always told that if they go through a divorce, they will lose their children. [They are] told that mothers always win custody of the children [and] that dads are only in touch with their children by a paycheck" ("Fathers Custody Center"). Fathers are far more likely than mothers to suffer gender bias in family courts. In this paper, I am going to talk about what gender bias is, ways to fight gender bias, some of the myths and stereotypes associated with gender bias, and some studies linked to gender bias in custody disputes.

What is gender bias? Gender Bias is a negative belief or unfair way of thinking about the opposite sex. This belief or way of thinking is not based on fact or truth. It is a personal belief that usually develops early in life due to another person's opinion, a bad experience, or inappropriate and misdirected teaching. All too often, "child custody gender bias still manages to rear its ugly head in court rooms across the country" ("Fathers Seeking Custody Face Gender Bias Battles").

Once fathers know what gender bias is, they need to learn how to fight it. First, they must realize that fighting to get custody of their children is going to be an uphill battle. They need to also learn to recognize when judges and court counselors are working under gender bias presumptions that discriminate against them. Fathers should never underestimate gender bias against them in custody cases. "Today, divorcing fathers must be twice as good a parent and work longer and harder, to get one-half the consideration as a mother for winning custody" (Novak). Besides knowing how to recognize it, there needs to be a way to stop it. One solution to stop gender bias is to have the legislature pass laws and the administration enforce rules which require the courts to treat both parents' parental responsibilities equally.

False allegations made be a bitter ex-wife devastates all parties involved. A father is automatically deemed a "bad father" when a divorce is filed. "The mother files first to take advantage of all the laws that have been passed to protect "true victims" of abuse or violence" (Harbour). Many times a mother can walk into a court room and tell a judge that the father beat her or sexually abused the children and the judge will award custody to the mother without an investigation. Today, courts almost always believe a woman over a man. This process is emotionally and financially damaging to both parents and the children. It also results in ongoing hostilities which stand in the way of constructive shared parenting, encourages further litigation, and pushes fathers to abandon their children. The father becomes nothing more to his children than a weekly child support check.

Years ago women had a disadvantage in our domestic courts. Now they can feel quite happy knowing most women win today; can manipulate child support into backdoor alimony; deprive their children of their fathers; and ruin their husband. Truth no longer exists in our legal system. [Ð'...] You [women] think you're beating men? You're beating yourself; destroying your children; and making our legal system rich. You are creating a generation of children who think love is conditional, possessive; and if lost, violence and manipulating laws will make you a winner. (Harbour).

Besides false allegations, gender stereotypes have been known to play a role in custody battles. Author Richard Warshank has reported "Despite current gender-neutral statutes, men's advocacy groups claim that custody decisions continue to discriminate against fathers. Women's advocacy groups and the media counter that custody decisions discriminate against mothers" ("Child Custody"). "Judges, based on their background or personal experience, may have a deep-seated belief that mothers can take care of children better than fathers and that fathers have little experience in parenting. Such judges may carry those views on to the bench, in which case a father may have a very difficult time gaining custody" ("Preferences for Mother or Fathers").

Fathers sometimes do not know what to do when their children have been unjustly take away from them. Perry Manley, 52, committed suicide on June 21, 2005, in Seattle Washington, "protesting gender bias discrimination and a severe lack of basic human rights denied to divorced dads and their children" (Leyden). However, there are some judges that do favor fathers instead of mothers especially if the kids are male.

Other disadvantages fathers face when trying to win custody of their children are the myths that they have to fight. One myth is that fathers can not take care of children the way mothers do.

Fathers who have sole custody [Ð'...] feel overburdened, just as the mothers do. Clear support cannot be found for the belief that fathers do not have the same sensitivity as mothers do, nor the belief that fathers do not have the capacity to assume the day-to day responsibility. On the contrary, studies show that fathers can be just as sensitive and competent in care-giving as mothers. (Coleman)

Another myth is that children do not bond to their fathers as closely as they do to their mothers. Warshank has also said "Numerous studies have established beyond a doubt that children form close attachment bonds with their fathers and that this occurs at the same time that they form attachment bonds to their mothers. Although fathers and mothers usually play different roles in their child's life, different does not mean more or less important" ("The Custody Revolution").

One more myth is that a child will miss the mother more than the father. "Many studies show that children show no particular preference for or problems with either parent staying or leaving" (Lamb). Lamb also concluded that children in stress or not in stress showed no apparent preference for either parent. There was no difference in protest following maternal or paternal departures. Shirley M.H. Hanson