Going All The Way

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Going All The Way: My Key to Success

University of Phoenix

Growing up I have always set goals for myself such as graduating from high school, learning to drive, and attending college. Well [insert comma] I must say so far so good. Although I have attended college before in an on campus environment my goals as a University of Phoenix student are slightly different. As a student of the University of Phoenix my goals are to succeed in all of [Unnecessary wording. Remove "all of" or use "all."] my classes, finish what I started, and obtain my bachelor's degree in Business Administration [do not capitalize] .

As always my top priority is to succeed in all of [Unnecessary wording. Remove "all of" or use "all."] my classes. In my brief time as a University of Phoenix student I have found that participation, communication, as well as [remove the comma; the following is not a stand-alone clause] the overall assignments determine how well you [word choice: use of the second person often means general humanity {Everybody knows you are foolish if you do not fasten your seatbelt}, but in academic writing it is more appropriate and less prone to misinterpretation if 'you' is replaced with the third person, i.e., he, she, it, one, they] perform in your [avoid use of "you" in academic writing] classes. The steps that I am taking to achieve this goal is to actively participate in on-line discussion and threads; by posting responses as well as asking questions to gain a better insight on the subject matter at hand. Also [Avoid beginning sentences with "also." It tends to make your writing inelegant.] I participate in the group discussions that my teammates have I look to them for answers as well as offer assistance if needed. Furthermore I plan to study, by studying I feel [use "I believe" or "I consider" instead of "I feel"] that I am allowing my mind to absorb information about the subject; studying also allows me to be prepared for test and assignments that the instructor may give. Completing my individual assignments first will also play a role because by doing those and getting those turned in, in a timely manner I have more time to focus on the group assignments that may require me to pay more attention to details. Since I am so use to working alone it takes me no time to complete my individual assignments I am liable to have them finished before they [pronoun agreement: since the antecedent (individual) is singular, the pronoun (they) must be singular {he or she}] are actually ["actually" is a weak word whose literal meaning is nothing more than "in point of fact." Usually it can be deleted with no change in meaning] due. Without communication you don't [contractions are not appropriate in academic writing, e.g., don't should be do not] stand a chance. Open communication keeps me in the loop and on track. Having to do in a few short weeks what others are doing in a couple of months really ["really" is a weak word meaning "not imaginary." Use "truly" or another, clearer word] makes me buckle down and stay in touch with my instructor and classmates. With so much attention given to communication at the University of Phoenix I feel [use "I believe" or "I consider" instead of "I feel"] myself communicating my ideas, and concerns more clearly and effectively.

Another goal I have set for myself is to finish what I start. To say that I am a procrastinator of vast proportion would be over stating it but I have been known to give up on thinks right in the home stretch. As I stated earlier in the paper I have attended college before, went to school none stop to obtain my associates degree. I waited to my final semester to give up not a very smart move on my part. It's [contractions are not appropriate in academic writing, e.g., don't should be do not] been two years since I last attended college and I really ["really" is a weak word meaning "not imaginary." Use "truly"