Going All The Way
Essay by 24 • December 8, 2010 • 1,557 Words (7 Pages) • 952 Views
Thank you for using the WritePoint automated system for reviewing your paper. The purpose of this system is to provide you with assistance in producing grammatically correct papers that reflect appropriate academic style. WritePoint has been designed to recognize the most commonly made errors by university students and will not flag every error or problem with your paper. The system works by embedding comments into your paper suggesting possible corrections or changes in style. Please remember to carefully review each suggestion made because like any automated system the accuracy rate can vary.
WritePoint is a valuable tool for proofing your paper and helping you to improve your writing skills. The system is not yet able to fully evaluate your citations and references, and you will need to carefully review these for APA formatting.
There are many resources available to you in the Center for Writing Excellence Tutorials and Guides section. Please remember that content is evaluated by your instructor and that your instructor's preference for style and format prevail.
Going All The Way: My Key to Success
University of Phoenix
Growing up I have always set goals for myself such as graduating from high school, learning to drive, and attending college. Well [insert comma] I must say so far so good. Although I have attended college before in an on campus environment my goals as a University of Phoenix student are slightly different. As a student of the University of Phoenix my goals are to succeed in all of [Unnecessary wording. Remove "all of" or use "all."] my classes, finish what I started, and obtain my bachelor's degree in Business Administration [do not capitalize] .
As always my top priority is to succeed in all of [Unnecessary wording. Remove "all of" or use "all."] my classes. In my brief time as a University of Phoenix student I have found that participation, communication, as well as [remove the comma; the following is not a stand-alone clause] the overall assignments determine how well you [word choice: use of the second person often means general humanity {Everybody knows you are foolish if you do not fasten your seatbelt}, but in academic writing it is more appropriate and less prone to misinterpretation if 'you' is replaced with the third person, i.e., he, she, it, one, they] perform in your [avoid use of "you" in academic writing] classes. The steps that I am taking to achieve this goal is to actively participate in on-line discussion and threads; by posting responses as well as asking questions to gain a better insight on the subject matter at hand. Also [Avoid beginning sentences with "also." It tends to make your writing inelegant.] I participate in the group discussions that my teammates have I look to them for answers as well as offer assistance if needed. Furthermore I plan to study, by studying I feel [use "I believe" or "I consider" instead of "I feel"] that I am allowing my mind to absorb information about the subject; studying also allows me to be prepared for test and assignments that the instructor may give. Completing my individual assignments first will also play a role because by doing those and getting those turned in, in a timely manner I have more time to focus on the group assignments that may require me to pay more attention to details. Since I am so use to working alone it takes me no time to complete my individual assignments I am liable to have them finished before they [pronoun agreement: since the antecedent (individual) is singular, the pronoun (they) must be singular {he or she}] are actually ["actually" is a weak word whose literal meaning is nothing more than "in point of fact." Usually it can be deleted with no change in meaning] due. Without communication you don't [contractions are not appropriate in academic writing, e.g., don't should be do not] stand a chance. Open communication keeps me in the loop and on track. Having to do in a few short weeks what others are doing in a couple of months really ["really" is a weak word meaning "not imaginary." Use "truly" or another, clearer word] makes me buckle down and stay in touch with my instructor and classmates. With so much attention given to communication at the University of Phoenix I feel [use "I believe" or "I consider" instead of "I feel"] myself communicating my ideas, and concerns more clearly and effectively.
Another goal I have set for myself is to finish what I start. To say that I am a procrastinator of vast proportion would be over stating it but I have been known to give up on thinks right in the home stretch. As I stated earlier in the paper I have attended college before, went to school none stop to obtain my associates degree. I waited to my final semester to give up not a very smart move on my part. It's [contractions are not appropriate in academic writing, e.g., don't should be do not] been two years since I last attended college and I really ["really" is a weak word meaning "not imaginary." Use "truly"
...
...