High Fidelity

High Fidelity

Rob, the main character in the movie High Fidelity, is experiencing a mid life crisis in his mid 30's. He is beginning to question whether or not his current job is right for him and if t is as fulfilling as he wants it to be; he also begins to question his past relationship and evaluate what went wrong with them. This mid life crisis is onset by his stable live in girlfriend leaving him because of many things but it was mainly triggered by feelings of distance between them and the lack of commitment. After she leaves he realizes that she might have been the one after he evaluated his past "Top 5 Breakups." Although it takes Laura, his girlfriend, leaving for him to really think about commitment and to reevaluate what he is doing with his life it is probably the best thing that happened to him.

The state of Rob's intimate relationship with Laura before the break up was still in the self-focused stage, at least on Rob's behalf. He is not very mature for his age and seems to be comfortable with the way things were and wasn't looking for anything to change. A prime example of this is the fact that Rob hired Barry and Dick is two friends when the store opened and can not fire them because even though they are not the best workers he is afraid of change. Rob is a neurotic, self-absorbed, and obsesses over his dreary romantic history. According to Erikson one has to truly know themselves in order to fully realate and connect to another and since Rob doesn't seem to know himself at all before the breakup it would make sense for Laura and their relationship to not work out. Rob at this point in his life is reflecting upon who his is and realizing that he wants more, he wants more than just working at the record store, although he does feel passionate about the store that specializes only in vinyl it isn't making him very much money and he begins to feel as though he wants more out of life. Although Laura walked out on him she does love him and Rob finally realizes after she leaves that he doesn't want anymore meaningless relationships; he only wants Laura.

After Laura leaves Rob seems to have an awakening and begins to mature in his understanding of what it takes to have a good stable relationship. He begins to mature from not wanting commitment to realizing that Laura is the one that he wants to be with and he wants to fully commit to her and her only. He partially comes to this realization through his own form of therapy by trying to see as many as his ex-girlfriends as he can, however it is not fully successful as he had hoped. Rob starts to become aware of where he is in life and where he wants to be and he begins to understand who he truly is. He also grasps what Laura wants and what he has to do in order to be with her. The connection between Rob's identity status and his capacity for intimacy is that since he doesn't truly know himself and is not that mature he is basically incapable of having an intimate relationship.

However Rob tells Laura that he only wants her and the he wants to marry her, he finally realizes that he gets nothing out of the many past relationships and they are meaningless compared to his relationship with Laura. Since Rob has begun to understand who he is and what it takes to have an intimate and fully committed relationship he has began to mature towards a more role-focused relationship with Laura. He is realizing what she wants and what they need to do in order to make it work. They have begun to take on the roles of spouse and partner in