Hills like White Elephants

Hills like white elephants

After quite a few hours, of waiting desperately in love with the girl but her not knowing it.

I picked up the phone, and dialed the number just as I used to.

I recognized her voice, soft, sweet and caring. Suddenly I remembered how pathetic and childish I acted the second I fell in love with this girl, and I was really not aware that this was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was never the type of guy that believed in love at first sight, or even worse “growing old together”.

The girl, few words amazing and not ready for commitment. The discussion to keep the child, or get the abortion and live a life as a family.

Whether to commit and establish a future family, or get rid of the responsibility and literally just throw away a bunch of amazing possibilities.

I remember it as yesterday we were sitting at the bar, I kept asking her “do we want this, are you ready for it?” I still can´t get that moment out of my head. “yes, I am ready but are we ready?”

“if we do it everything will be fine” we said, I really don´t know what changed our minds.

How could we not see that it was going to make everything right? That was what we needed it was really meant to be. Or not.

It never happened, maybe after all we was just not ready for the responsible.

But here I am today, full of regrets.

Should we have done it the other way, how would things be by now would I be happier,

I can say right now that I actually am not. I am far from happy at this point of my life.

Un happy or unlucky, I was not capable of making the right decision at that moment.

We were both ready and willing to do it I wanted it and she said “ oh I don’t care about me, and I will do it and everything will be fine.”