Holla

I can remember times when me and my mother were the best of friends, I was a n only child and she was my only parent. See I use to be in foster care because she struggled with drugs for a little part of her life so I stayed with a foster family. I loved my foster family they treated me just the same , because you see I was very young so I didn't know that much. But for the things that I do recall they were great I had a family and I traveled went to school everything was in order. But then one day a women came into my life who turned out to be my mother, and she was fighting to keep me as her child because my foster mother wanted to take me in and make me her child. But my mother kept fighting and she satyed clean for a very long time till finally she was able to regain custody of me and be back in my life. I admit at first it was very different and I can honestly say I was scared, but as time progressed things got better. Like is said I was young but I can still remember times when my mom would buss her ass to put clothes on my back and food in my stomach. She worked all day and made sure that I went to school and when holidays came and went I wasn't left in the dust I had a bunch of toys under the tree.

As I got more older and more closer with my mother I realizd that she is a very strong women with very strong will power. She graduated from college and continued to stay clean for many years. My mother and I would go to the malls every weekend and shop all day we use to call it "mall hogging". I loved it to this day I still think about those times they were so precious to me, and when I ask her she feels the same. When my mother got back on her feet she had found a man and they became lovers. He treated me very nicely and always wanted to take me out and buy me things like I really cared. I only loved my mother and I wanted nothing to do with man but eventually here grew on me and I then started to love him. He became my step father but consider him my father because my real one didn't step up to the plate. Not to lose focus on my mother but like I said we were able to shop and do things because my parents were doing alright financially.

However as got a little more older and more aware of things life took its toll and it started to hit me hard. My mother is a strong women and I noticed more and more how she started to give up on life . When we moved from the nice house we were staying at that's when things went downhill drastically. Drugs were back in the picture and little by little it became worse. My step father did his best to keep that away from me and to this day I thank him from the bottom of my heart. The point of this paper is not that drugs ruined my life and everyday from then has been hell for me, no. What I am trying to express is the closenees that I lost with my mother because of her struggle with drugs. Addiction is a bitch and I know first hand, I use to have to tell my boys that my mom was traveling when she was really in rehab. That got old quick when my mom started to go in out of rehab for years. It changed her state of mind it mad here do things that she never normally did, constantly she lied about things and we knew.

Out of all the things that I lost from my mother the main thing that I lost was trust nd that hurt me the most. I trusted my mother more than anyone and for me to have to hide money and listen to lies that I knew were lies but she kept trying to force the truth hurt. My mother is a strong woman she battled to get me back in her life and she knows what it is to survive. That's why when she started to get back on drugs I was distruat. At first I was angry and I didn't want nothing to do with here, this was how I felt for years. I always tell people my junior year of highschool was the toughest for me, and man was it. At this time I had a little brother and it was to the point where I was taking care of him and being a parent. My step father had enough and he moved out because the pressure go to him, but I don't blame him. My mother started selling out f the house and had numerous people in the house and weird people would show up all the time. The madness didn't stop until my step father came back and put some order back into the household. One thing about that man that I appreciate so much was that he never gave up on my mother and for many years it stayed like that. I made it through high school and I as I got older I got more of a sense of how life is. The love for my mother was altered but it was still there, and inside I cried but rarely did I cry on the out. She would always say "if you want to go talk to someone about what is going on you should because I know your dealing with a lot of stuff". I would always say no because I didn't