Jesus Walks on the Water

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Submitted by: Asaki Subaldo BA-1B

Submitted to: Rev. Fr. Rodel Magin

“Jesus walks on the water”

Matthew 14:22-23

   The Gospel is all about Jesus walking in the water and how Peter have doubted him but in the end, Jesus assured him that he is to trusted.

   Most of the time, I tend to question God, “God why is my like this?”, “Out of all people, why should it be me?”, “God, if you really are the Almighty, why am I a mess?”. I lost my Faith in God to the point that I didn’t believe that there is a God.

   Way back in high school, I was taking antidepressants because of my depression. My depression started when I found out that my stepfather is not my biological father. Other than that, I don’t know why I feel sad and anxious most of the time. I cried every night asking God to just take me and save me from this mess if he really is the Almighty. It even came into my mind to take my life away. Having depression is not easy. When someone says, “It’s all in your head.” I immediately snap at them because it’s so hard to remain positive when everything else is falling apart. Imagine how hard it is to have depression and anxiety. You’ll forget that there is a God, you’ll forget that killing yourself is a sin. All that matters is ignoring those monsters inside your head. I understand people who took their lives because of depression and I hope he forgives them because only he knows what they were battling.

   Years passed by, I didn’t took my studies seriously. I was the black sheep of the family. I found happiness in vices. I forgot about God. I never even thought of praying because of how miserable my life was.

   2014 was the year I got pregnant. For the first time, I prayed. “God, may my child be healthy.” 9 months later, I found myself in deep pain. I cried and cried because of the pain. I asked God, “God, if I survive this, I will turn to you and  I will praise your name again but if I won’t survive this, let my child live.” I was already expecting to die because of the pain. In the end, God guided me and I gave birth to a healthy 8 lbs baby. Imagine how hard it was because I was petite. That was the time when I regained my faith. I said to myself, “God is really good.”