Long Distance Relationships

Does Long-Distance Relationship ever Works?

A relationship is said to be a connection, as in thought, concerning or regarding something or someone. Therefore a long-distance relationship (LDR) is similar to a normal relationship but differs in terms of geographic location of the couple; such location can range from 100-1000 miles, 100-3000 mile apart etc. Any dating or intimate relationship with so much distance between both parties is no doubt challenging, but that one of the things that comes along with LDRs relationships. Obviously each challenge has either a positive or a negative result. Positives such as increased independence, personal growth, more free time, and increased communication; while some negatives are lack of physical intimacy, expenses, and physical proximity. In a LDR, all the skills must be utilized in order for that kind of relationship to survive. To answer the question above we must first analyze some studies of LDRs, positives & negatives of LDRs, and required skills for LDRs.

LDRs are very diverse and have interested professors, psychologist, and scholars nationwide as a lot of studies and research has been conducted on LDRs both on college student and real life LDR couples. Such cases are a "study conducted at a large southern University; the questionnaires were given to 438 undergraduates of ages 17-48" (Knox 1). Respondents completed an anonymous survey about attitudes towards and previous experience with LDRs, of which 20 percent were currently involved in a LDR and 37 percent, reported having ever been in a LDR that ended. Being in a LDR is not easy, sustaining the relationship is even harder as was the case in this study, for "the separation was damaging to most relationships. One in five (21.5%) broke up and another one in five (20%) said that the separation made their relationship worse" (Knox 1); however, only 18 percent reported that the separation improved their relationship.

There were some significant findings in this particular research that shed light on some other things about LDRs. This does not have a distinct pattern in terms of sex, race, or age; as both sexes, people of different race and age are engaged in LDRs. Is Ð''out of sight, out of mind,' this has a contrasting answer as some 42% of the persons who have been in a LDR disagreed with the saying, while 34% of the respondents who have never been in a LDR agrees. Also, persons who have been in a LDR that ended said that they would never go into a LDR again: contrastingly persons that are still in a LDR said they would do it again if it came to that point (Knox 2). This is evidence that people are judge LDRs base on the outcome rather that what it entails. Couples that are geographically separated encounter unique stressors and challenges seemingly unknown to geographically close couples. Thus activities that these couples enjoy such as face-to-face conversations, physical intimacy, sexÐ'... LDR couples cannot enjoy these activities everyday, thus things get a bit confusing which can end relationships. Since couples that face different geographic locations face different problems and communicate in different ways, only a person with experience in LDLR should give a valid input on such relationship.

The rate of growth among unmarried LDRs has gone mostly unmeasured, but we do know that the number of long-distance marriages in the U.S. increased by 385,000 between 1999 and 2002. The 2000 Census measured more than 4.1 million people living apart from their spouses for reasons other than separation (Caroline Tiger 1).

Here are some more stats about LDRs in the U.S.:

Total number of people in long-distance relationships 7 million couples

# of long-distance marriages 2.5 Ð'- 3 million couples

# of long-distance couples 3 Ð'- 4.5 million couples

% of college students in an LDR at any given time 25%

% of college students who've had an LDR at some point during their time in college 78%

% military marriages that're currently long distance 27 Ð'- 63%

Obviously Intimacy plays a huge part of any of any successful relationship, especially the sexual part of intimacy. This or the lack of it is the main cause that bring death to LDRs. They often say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but in most cases it just makes that heart lonely; as a result, physical intimacy is one of the things couples in LDR miss the most. This is not just about sex but the small things that couples like to share like hugging, holding hands, surprise gifts, cuddling, kissing etc. These show case of affection keeps couples together; consequently when there are not present loneliness takes its toll and one will seek such affection elsewhere. Individuals who are impatient and will cheat on there partner will not survive a LDR, but the ones that are willing to change for his/her partner then they are the ones that will be satisfied with there LDR. Modern devices and technology has made it even easier for LDR couples to communicate via E-mails, webcam, digital camera, cell phones, and by fax. These are some of the media that used by successful LDR couples to keep the lines of commitment going, but this is not all, as the occasional visit and alternative sexual acts is necessary for a healthy LDR.

These alternative sexual acts are Masturbating, Dirty Talk, Phone Sex, and E-Sex. All these are suitable for LDRs as a couple can use these as mutual pleasure, because intercourse is not an option. Masturbating is when both sexes stimulate their genitals while thinking or viewing something that's sexually arousing; thus reaching a climax. Dirty talk is said to be the rehearsal for phone sex, where partners verbally guide each other through sexual oriented acts. Thirdly, phone sex is the most popular of these alternatives and it is about maintaining the intimacy and sexuality that couples share (Bean 2). It's also an example of dirty talk, but with some genital touching. As the name suggests, E-sex is sex or sexual oriented emails between couples as there aim is turn on their partner. Though there is little physical intimacy between LDR couples, there are means and ways couples can share intimacy, intimacy that is scarce in a LDR.

Everything has its ups and downs so too is LDR as they have some positives and negatives. Some positives of LDRs is that it enables partners to appreciate each other more, and they don't take their partner for granted; thus "developing a stronger connection through non-physical communication" (Mietzner 2). The distance equals