Love Hate Poem

How is it I love you, and I don't even like you?

If you weren't such a pretty girl,

I would prolly want to fight you

You perturb me, to say the least

But if love is a food to be eaten

What I have is a feast

I don't understand it, how could this be

How come I'm jealous when you're with anyone but me

It's not my place cuz we already settled and moved on in life

The only thing moving on did for me, was to bring me strife

I haven't seen you for months yet you fill my head

At least 15 minutes a day do I wish I was dead

And today is extra long, these feelings for you

I'm so anxious and scared because you'll be here soon

My first love, is far from what you see on TV

And those feelings they fake, me, I have them for real, times three

I can't believe I'm writing this, cuz I know it's just pain

When I let you read this, on that soon to come day

And like you don't know how I feel, I'll try and make you too

I'm just scared that the one who doesn't feel it is you

How can it be I'm in this improbable place

This place that shows me only your beautiful face

I used to think people were dumb, saying it hurt so much

Till it was me when I almost cried cuz I couldn't feel your touch

Goddamnit I need to stop it, cuz your not mine to be with

I moved on like my true heart was just an old myth

This is so fuckin selfish, to only think of what hurts my soul

But you never talk to me, so it's gotten out of control

I think all it is, is my emotional immaturity

You showed me my first love and pain and my first security

If I love you so much, then why do I kiss another

Made a mistake, thought of you and told the other I loved her

I flew across the world, just to be by your side

Yet when I was there, you made me want to run and hide

I want to cry and think it couldn't be true

That you were the one I fell in love with, the same one that I hated too

You were the second girl that I ever screamed at

The first was my false sister, Both times my heart was an emotional twister

I screamed because of what you did to my brain

My logic filled with pain

And yet my heart and love for you was all the same

I hate you, and I love you, but I know it won't work

Cuz you're a screwed up bitch, and me a fucked up jerk

I wasn't your first love, and I often forget

There's at least one ahead of me, that made you emotionally wet

Then how many more will come to you

That you will love so through and so true

Will I get another chance, do I even want it

Is it just me or did you already say fuck it

Even if you haven't, as unlikely as that is...

GODDAMNIT I WANT TO SCREAM again

I JUST FUCKING LOVE YOU LIZ

You're there and I'm here, there's no hope and that's clear

But I hope when you visit, I can see you without fear

I will say this again, like so many times before

You're