Maybe Next Time - a Personal Essay

Day after day, week after week, I sit in this depressing armchair and wait for the ladies to come and give me my daily slop, lunch. There are 15 of us stuck here, stuck in this miserable, boring home. I haven't had a visitor in weeks and as the days go by I can feel myself slipping away, getting less and less interested in the books, the card games and the afternoon walks. I need some excitement and change, a different schedule or a holiday away. I can't just sit here and waste away. This is a life or death situation, I have to get out of here.

My kids dumped me here about 2 years ago and I haven't seen them since. I guess I was always a bit of a grump but still, you would think they would at least send me a Christmas card. I have a few friends here, but they aren't really cut out for an adventure, old Bobby's heart would never cope with the excitement and Lucy needs new knees. The only other person in here that would be the best bet is Marvin, a retired sergeant major who served in WW2. But he's so forgetful he wouldn’t have any idea whether we were coming or going. So I guess its up to me. I have to be the one to break out of this prison.

So I started planning. I bribed Ann, the head nurse, with a butterscotch and got a list of the nurses and their shift changes. Over the next 3 days I watched the nurses to see which were the nicest and which were the more stern. I found the biggest window on the right side of the house and broke the lock so that it would stay open so that I could sneak out right after the second shift. And then it happened. The nurses were switching over, I said goodbye to bobby on my way past and I jumped out the window. It all happened quite fast really, I sped down the driveway, through the gate and I was free.

I strolled through the town as if I knew what I was doing. No one paid much attention to me as I made my way to the place of my favorite childhood memories.