Mother-Daughter Conflict in “two Kinds”

Mother-Daughter Conflict in “Two Kinds”.

          Conflict seems to be a part of every mother-daughter relationship. Daughters seek their mother’s approval. Mothers want the best for their daughters. These two desires, as good as they may seem, are most often the source of strife in mother-daughter relationships. In an attempt to help daughters live up to their full potential, mothers often set very high expectations. Failure to meet these expectations leaves both parties disappointed and resentful. In the story “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan, the author narrates the conflict between a Chinese immigrant mother and her Americanized daughter from the daughter’s perspective. Amy Tan focuses on the generational and cultural differences between the mother and her daughter as the source of conflict.  

          Like many immigrants, Jing-Mei’s mother believes in the American dream. She sees America as a land of opportunities where anyone can become successful through hard work. Holding unto this belief, she has unrealistic expectations for her daughter. This becomes a source of conflict in their relationship. Though a cleaning lady herself, the immigrant mother wants the American dream for her daughter. She is determined for her daughter to become the best she can be, even a prodigy:

My mother believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America. You could open a restaurant. You could work for the government and get good retirement. You could buy a house with almost no money down. You could become rich. You could become instantly famous. “Of course, you can be a prodigy, too," my mother told me when I was nine. "You can be best anything. (305)

In the article “ Contradiction and Culture: Revisiting Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds”, Hoyte identifies with Jing-Mei as she shares her own struggles with her immigrant parents whose dream was for their daughter to attend graduate school at Harvard:

Each time I spoke with my mother she asked if I had made a photocopy of my Harvard acceptance letter for her. In those conversations, she would sigh deeply and dramatically and say, "After all, getting a copy of your letter is the closest I will ever come to attending Harvard." My father's comments were a little more pointed. "Of course, you can do what you want. I won't try to influence you, but it would be foolish not to go to Harvard." It rapidly became clear that not enrolling there would not just be turning down Harvard but also rejecting their hopes and dreams. (Hoyte, 163)

Though not sure what her daughters natural talent is, the mother tries out a couple of ideas from TV shows and magazines. Attempts to make her daughter a prodigy included rigorous mental drills. At first the daughter is excited about the prospects of becoming a prodigy. She had the longing to become the perfect daughter who is adored by her parents and is beyond reproach. As the drills get harder and her progress slower, she becomes sad and frustrated sensing her mother’s disappointment. She then decides not to let her mother force her into becoming what she is not. Jing-Mei is resolute on frustrating her mother’s efforts until she gives up trying to make her a prodigy:

So now when my mother presented her tests, I performed listlessly, my head propped on one arm. I pretended to be bored. And I was. I got so bored that I started counting the bellows of the foghorns out on the bay while my mother drilled me in other areas. The sound was comforting and reminded me of the cow jumping over the moon. And the next day I played a game with myself, seeing if my mother would give up on me before eight bellows. After a while I usually counted only one bellow, maybe two at most. At last she was beginning to give up hope. (307)

                  Jing-Mei’s mother unlike her Americanized daughter holds on to her Chinese cultural values which regards highly hard work and achievement. The mother refuses to give up on Jing-Mei.  She believes if her daughter tries harder, she can become a prodigy. She claims: "Not the best. Because you not trying" (307). The mother claims that she just wants her child to do her best and try her hardest. She pushes hard on her daughter even as she makes sacrifices to provide the resources to make her daughter a piano prodigy. She brags about her daughter’s piano talent: “If we ask Jing-Mei wash dish, she hear nothing but music. It's like you can't stop this natural talent" (309). She makes her play at a talent show to which she invited all her friends. Knowing she is not prepared but somehow thinking that the prodigy in her actually exists, Jing-Mei puts on a terrible performance leaving her parents embarrassed. She describes her performance at the show as such:

And I started to play. Everything was so beautiful. I was so caught up in how lovely I looked that I wasn't worried about how I would sound. So I was surprised when I hit the first wrong note. And then I hit another and another. A chill started at the top of my head and began to trickle down. Yet I couldn't stop playing, as though my hands were bewitched. I kept thinking my fingers would adjust themselves back, like a train switching to the right track. I played this strange jumble through to the end, the sour notes staying with me all the way. (310)