Motivations Of Child Misbehavior

Children misbehave everyday at home, school, day care, church, and other places for a reason. "If the behavior is accidental or if the child did not know it was unacceptable, then it is not really misbehavior. Bad behavior involves deliberate disobedience to a reasonable limit" (Smith 1). The truth is that every type of conduct has an intention. One of the most difficult - but most imperative - decisions a parent can make when trying to assist a child act in an improved way is to find out the purpose of the misconduct. Misbehavior cannot be effectively treated until the parent knows the reasons for it. The parent comprehends the child and what triggers him or her to have behavior tribulations better than anyone else ("Discipline Help: You Can Handle Them All" 1). Three main causes or "mistaken goals" of naughtiness are attention, power, and self-confidence. Rudolf Dreikurs, a trained physician and psychiatrist, believes "the true reason for children to misbehave is because they just 'want to belong'" ("Causes of Misbehavior" 1).

Some children feel misbehaving is their greatest method to get attention. Every child has a need to be noticed. At times the only means children can get their occupied parents' interest is to refuse to comply. Once the mother or father gives them attention for being unruly, then that conduct will intensify. "Children who feel overlooked will misbehave to get any kind of parent attention, even if it means being yelled at, ridiculed, or even spanked. Punishment is a reward for attention starved children" (Smith 1). "Children who are seeking attention are the ones who constantly speak out without permission in school, or make strange noises at the dinner table that force everyone to stop their conversation and pay attention. Some adolescents will even tell about all the bad things they have done that day" ("Discipline Help: You Can Handle Them All" 3).

The want for power is a source for misbehavior as well. Children with this need fight a great deal and say no to following rules. These young people feel a sense of defeat if they do as told. Children have a mindset that if they obey their guardians they are losing. Most commonly, these are the defiant ones, the rule-breakers, and bullies. The lack of power that lies behind all their troubles is truly felt, and they feel that more power is the answer to all their problems. If they had more control they believe they would be informing parents of what to do instead of the other way around and that they would be better off. "When power is the reason for the deed, the mother or father generally feels threatened" ("Discipline Help: You Can Handle Them All" 4).

Another reason for bad conduct is a lack of self-confidence. Youngsters consistently act with what they think is correct about themselves. They truthfully assume failure. "If they believe they are unpopular and cruel, they may mistreat their peers. Children will act badly if they think they are bad" (Smith 3). They do not believe they possess the capability to perform in the classroom; however, they may feel entirely sufficient outside school or when doing a school related activity. Parents get frustrated because the child is often capable of handling his or her schoolwork successfully but does not. The caregiver then gets angry because s/he feels the youngster's conduct is an excuse. It is - except they truly believe they can not be victorious in school. These children use lack of ability - genuine or unspecified - to get away from participation. When supposed to be completing a task, they fool around and look for distractions instead. Then make excuses for why they could not complete the task, such as "I could not do it" or "I am dumb." When lack of self-confidence is the cause for being bad, the parent will generally feel frustrated ("Discipline Help: You Can Handle Them All" 6).

Every child misbehaves at one time or another; bad behavior can be positively resolved with good discipline and guidance.

To develop a sense of connectedness, parents should consider forming or joining a support group. Parents can learn more by taking a class, attending a workshop, reading a book, subscribing to a parenting magazine, accessing Internet resources, and/or talking with other caregivers (Clark 6).

"Disciplining our children means teaching them appropriate behavior and self-control....Every