My Spiritual Walk

My Spiritual Walk

So I don't really have a big defining moment of my life where everything changed and I gave up the drugs and drinking and turned toward God. I do have a moment where I turned to him but it isn't big and grand. Sometimes I wish this was different, sometimes I wish I had some big grand story. But then again, I have been immersed in God's life for all of mine and I can't complain about that.

I was born on a Thursday in January and as soon as I was able, about a week and a half later, I was in church. That is where my spiritual knowledge started. That goes a bit too far back though to make this a two page paper. My actual individual walk with Jesus started much later. As I said, I grew up in the church and I appreciate that fact. All of my life I had heard about Jesus and the commitment that should be made toward Him and I stalled. For thirteen years I stalled in that commitment. When I was twelve years old, a good friend of mine, who was my age and the first person my dad baptized at our new church, was shot and died instantly. This affected me deeply. I still had the idea that there was no chance I would be done with life soon. His death really brought me into the realization that my time to see Jesus could be anytime and almost to the year anniversary of his death I was baptized. My best friend had come to visit us for Easter and she stayed up and talked with me until very late at night and stayed near me until that Sunday at church. It was very encouraging to me having most of my loved ones there and my dad baptized me that Easter Sunday.

After that I played the "I'm baptized now, give me a break" card. I was still very involved in the youth group and my best friends were at church but I really just used it as a social thing and not what it should be as a place of worship to God. I never really understood that idea until about a year before I left there. I played the part well before then and people bought it but inside an inner transformation hadn't really been made. In the middle of my sophomore year of high school my parents decided it was time to move back to Michigan from Iowa. I was somewhat bitter and took that out on my parents and on God. I stayed overly involved with my youth group staying a leader of the group and in the church, as much as was possible in my particular church. The more I got involved in the church the more I wanted to back away completely. I started dating a guy from the youth group who seemed like a very good Christian boy. He was also a leader in the youth group. It seemed that way at least. It was the relationship that everyone wanted to see happen and see be successful. It lasted publicly for about 6 or 7 months. Then I felt a very strong feeling that I had never understood before. I felt like God was asking me to give up that relationship for my own good. I did not understand this, I had never felt like God was really talking to me. I hadn't considered it like this. But God was talking to me and letting me know something so I attempted to listen. We broke up and