Now I Know We Should Have Adopted

Now I know We Should have adopted

Now, I know we should have adopted just kept playing in my mind as I watched this tiny delicate killer drink a bottle from the window. The longer I stood there looking at this baby the angrier I got. I never knew I could hate someone with so much passion as this child right here. I was supposed to be hugging and kissing on my wife. I should be crying because we have child, a new addition to the family. I should be holding my child and telling my wife how proud I am. Instead, I’m standing here watching the very same person who took their first breath while my wife took her last breath. How can I love and take care someone who took someone so important from me?

Everything was going great. She was fine without a worry in the world. We were arguing about the name when a contraction had hit. We knew it was only a matter of time before she gave birth; since the contractions were so close together. I knew the pain was too much when she requested an epidural because she was determine to have an all-natural birth up until that moment. Looking at the sweat that were mixing with tears run down her face and her hair sticking out everywhere. She never looked so beautiful to me than in that moment.

“Maybe we should have adopted than you would not be going through this pain.”

The look on her face told me that I had said the wrong thing. That look made me glad that she was in the hospital bed having contractions. Her bright hazel eyes turned a dark brown color and her face had a reddish tint to it. Closing my eyes ready to embrace the shouting but to my surprised she did the opposite. She took my hand and placed it on her stomach.

“The pain that this child is giving me is worth the pain of all those miscarriages that I experienced. I would rather go through this pain than experiencing the pain of having another miscarriage.”

I knew that she was only saying that because we knew from the start that she was going to have a complicated pregnancy and an even harder birth. Especially since this was not her first pregnancy but this has been the farthest we have ever gotten to.

“Honey, don’t think like that. Everything will be just fine.”

“Just promise me. Please, I need you