One Fun Spring Break

Spring Break is closely approaching and you and your friends have no clue what you all are going to do. You all want to do something different and fun at the same time. Everyone goes to some type of beach, but you all have done that the last two spring breaks. Count Vegas out because it is way too expensive for a week and some of your buddies are not 21 yet. So you decide to sleep on it. Well, just before you fall asleep there is a television ad that comes on about a cruise ship. Just so happens, you then dream about you and your friends going on a cruise for the whole week. It is not your ordinary, parents’ honeymoon type cruise but a cruise with all college students. It’s the biggest ship you have ever seen and this is how you know it is a dream because every thing is 100 percent free. You snap out of that dream and laugh at that possibility, not knowing that dream is actually a reality!

For your spring break, you and how ever many friends you want can ride the SS B.A.S. This ship is the largest ship ever made! Listen to this: the ship weighs in at 440,000 gross tons, it will carry 12,800 passengers not even including the crew of about 6,400, and the ship’s cost is 2.48 billion dollars. That is why the ship is named SS B.A.S.: Big Ass Ship! Now the cost of this ship is like I said is 2.48 billion dollars, so inside the ship, there are 4 clubs: a Pop club, Rock club, Hip Hop club and a Gay club. This ship has everything in it: there are over 800 rooms and every single room is a penthouse suite! Yes, you will be staying in luxury every night! Every night there will be at least two concerts in one of the two auditoriums. Let’s see who will be performing: Lil Wayne, T.I, Rick Ross, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Chris Brown, One Republic, Fergie, Amy Winehouse, Three Days Grace, Fall Out Boys, Good Charlotte, Daughtry, Alicia Keys, Jay-Z, and Kanye West. They will also be on the ship hanging out and partying with everybody every day. There is a white liquor bar, brown liquor bar, a cannabis bar, and a margarita bar. You can bring any amount of drugs on the ship but they will only provide cannabis. If you do bring other drugs you cannot sell it on the ship. Now you are saying this cruise must cost an arm and a leg. This cruise for Spring Break is 100 percent free! Yes, free! Free drinks, free boarding, free drug, free sex, free everything!

Now the ship will leave from Charleston, South Carolina at five thirty. Once you get there you will have to show the rubber wrist band that you received and your rubber wrist band must stay on at all times while you are on board. Now the rules are simple for this cruise. There is absolutely no fighting at all; any fighting will result in a permanent jail for the reminder of the cruise. That is the only rule. There will be doctors and an emergency staff on hand in case of any injury or sickness. Now, let me tell you what you will have full access to during the whole week: your room, a penthouse suite with a 45 inch plasma television, room service at your command, king size bed, two couches that let out to twin size beds, a laptop with wireless connection available, a bathroom with his and her sinks and toilets, a shower, a bath with a hot tub included, 100 percent silk linens and a wine cellar with Montrachet 1978. That is the most expensive wine you will ever drink. Also in every room there is a unlimited supply of condoms, whips, vibrators, KY jelly: a mean anything sexual that you need will be on hand for your sexual pleasure. You will have full access to all four clubs. In each club, there are about 25 plasma screen televisions, two bars on the floor that have every kind of liquor you could imagine and skilled bar tenders to make anything you want. The floor of every club is made of a glass floor, so you can see what is happening in other clubs! There are four strip clubs: one with black girls, one with white girls, one with black men, and one with white men. They are 100 percent nude strip clubs! Outside of the clubbing, if you just want to chill, drink and just mingle, we have four bars. The white liquor bar sells everything white, has about 5 plasma televisions, and the whole room is clear with white liquor in the walls! The brown liquor bar is more of a laid back bar, with sofas and lazy boy seats across the room for that relaxing feeling. The walls are clear, too, but with brown liquor in the middle. Now the cannabis bar is a smoker’s dream bar. This bar is lit by black lights with posters of Bob Marley. There are different posters on all of the walls. There are big sofas to relax on also and every kind of cannabis ever found on this earth! Well-trained bar tenders will be at your service, who can roll any type of blunt and any size blunt. Now the margarita bar is something special. This bar has every type of margarita you could possibly drink. This bar is located on top of the ship so it could be outside. The