Over The Hill

Over The Hill?

By Linda

(My own personal view of the ageing experience.)

We all have heard the expression "you're Over The Hill". Well, I'm not over it yet, but I'm sure at the top of it! It sure is nice up here butÐ'...nobody told me how slippery it was. My feet are starting to slide and I'm beginning to loose my balance, but as I stand here with this "deer in the headlights look" on my face, I remember someone telling me once; "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" With this quote echoing in my mind, I begin to feel a little more at ease. Maybe I need to relax a little, but how can I relax when I realize for the first time that I am starting to develop the first signs of "crow's feet"? How can I relax when I look in that mirror and see another gray hair sticking out from my scalp? How can I relax when my nephew, whose diaper I used to change, is already married and changing diapers himself? I guess the person who said that must be on some kind of "Double Prozac Latte". Whatever it is, I want some of it!

It just seems like yesterday that I was playing with dolls, making mud pies and fighting with my brother. Now the fight isn't with my brother, it's with the aches and pains that come when the weather gets damp, it's fighting to remember the things that I forgot to write down before I went to the grocery store, it's fighting with my eyesight when I strain to see the print in the newspaper, it's fighting with my mind which is telling me; "You're still young!" while my aching body is telling me; "You're only as young as you FEEL." Maybe I just need a little more exercise. Maybe I need to go to the gym. NOT! The last time I went to the gym, which was merely a ride through the parking lot, there were women with their tanned and toned bodies, in front of the window riding on those stationary bikes that even made ME do a "double take". Besides, why should I exercise when all it does is make me tired!

A friend of mine asked me to join her "Red Hat Club". She said it was for friends who were 50 or older. She said that they wear purple and red and meet once a month for get-togethers. She said that since I wasn't' 50 yet, I would be what they called a "lady in waiting". She said that I would need to wear pink