People Who Pump Gas, Which Type Are You?

There are many types of people who purchase gasoline, but three types are easy to spot. All three have an obvious physical appearance which sets them apart from other gas purchasers. Each also has a distinctive pumping technique and freely vocalizes his opinion. Finally, each type has a particular way of annoying every other patron at the same location.

The first type of gas purchaser is Leisure Lou. He can be identified immediately by his appearance. He drives a station wagon with wooden side panels and a bumper sticker that tells the world that he is retired. His Hawaiian print shirt captures everyone's attention. He wears Bermuda shorts and black socks with sandals. On his head sits a fly fisherman's hat which is his obvious display of a continuous state of leisure. His pumping technique also sets him apart from the normal crowd. When Leisure Lou parks his car, he stops at the first pump, preventing the use of the pump in front of him, which makes many people that are in a rush infuriated. He always pays for his gas in advance, so that the attendant can preset the pump and he will not have to worry about stopping the pump himself. He activates the pump before opening the access door and unscrewing the tank lid. He tucks the hose under his elbow and spills gas on his hip while opening the tank. As Leisure Lou leans against the side of his car, he pumps his gas absent-mindedly, confident that the pump will stop before gas pours onto the ground. Once the pump stops, he replaces the hose and screws on the tank lid but forgets to close the access door. Leisure Lou even vocalizes his not-a-care-in-the-world attitude. He whistles some melodic tune from The Sound of Music while pumping his gas. When inside the convenience store, he tells everyone how wonderful retirement is. But Leisure Lou can be a tremendous annoyance. He blocks the use of two pumps while he performs a number of

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time-consuming tasks. First he browses through the store with no intention of making a purchase. Then he washes his car's windshield. Next he visits the restroom to wash his hands and look at the stain on his hip. Last, he walks his dog around the small patches of grass that serve as landscaping. Leisure Lou is a man who cannot be ignored.

The second type of gasoline purchaser is Strictly-Business Betty. Her physical appearance is also very distinctive. She drives an economical, imported car that has a lock on the access door so that she can safely hide a spare key inside. She wears closed-toe pumps instead of a flirty sandal. Her skirt and blazer are of a classical line with no frills. Strictly-Business Betty's pumping technique is equally distinctive. She unscrews the lid to her tank before removing the hose from the pump. She pumps her gas until the tank is nearly full and then slows the volume to prevent the gas from spewing from the tank. Next she turns off the pump and gives the handle a final squeeze to empty the hose. Finally, she replaces the hose, seals the tank, and closes the access door as if following instructions. Now Strictly-Business Betty's most tell-tale characteristic is voiced. She announces to the cashier that she must have a legible receipt for her expense-account report. Then she preaches about the economic virtues of owning an import. Finally she distinguishes herself in a way that annoys everyone. She spends more than her fair