Personal Essay - Papa and Momma

Life is an absurd thing. It can either break you or strengthen you. Papa lost his job two months after my birthday that when Papa wasn't the same anymore. He went out every night and came back in the morning either hungover or high

I saw my father walk out our lives. Papa and Momma went through thick and thin throughout their life. He left us with Momma who looks at us in displeasure and misery. Max and Jane constantly ask why did Papa leave, I say ‘’Papa has gone to be with his high-quality family, he doesn't give two shits about us. I, Mary Elizabeth Jane am the only source of family they have, everything I do is for Max and Jane. Momma's a wreck without Papa, Momma doesn't have that reinforcement anymore so she continually thrashes us for why Papa left. I know that Momma tells us this so she can knock us down, but sometimes I wonder to myself ‘’What if Papa never left?’'

Everyday Momma brings home a new man after Papa left. Life has broken Momma down and now she is a monster who fucks a lot of men but doesn't give two shits about her children. The man she brought home a couple of days ago had eyes like the devil that could take over your soul. When you looked him the eyes you could tell he had a substandard demeanor. The ‘’devil’’ she brought home was higher than kite while Momma knocked out on the floor.

I took Max and Jane to the playground to get away from the house. As we walked I reached into my back pocket to grab my cigarette, lit it up and placed it between my lips then insufflated the nicotine into my lungs. It would be an on obloquy to catch a child smoking, but it acquits me from life and all the responsibilities.

The funny thing about life is when you believe it's going to get significant anything can change within minutes. As I sit here I comprehend that life isn't all about you it about the things you that shape you up to be the person you are.