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Essay by 24 • November 6, 2010 • 3,900 Words (16 Pages) • 1,092 Views
Violence can be seen in many different forms, from aggravated assault to child abuse and even premeditated murder. One of the most frequent types committed against women, is spousal abuse. The National Center for PTSD, (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), documents that "domestic violence is the most frequent cause of serious injury to women, more than car accidents, muggings, and stranger rape combined" (1). According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, "more than 2 million women experience violence annually, and 29% of all violence against women was committed by an intimate [partner]" (D'Avolio et al, 350). Violence can appear in many different forms. Three of which are emotional abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. Dr. Michelle Rice writes that physical abuse includes threats of violence and acts of violence, which can include obvious things such as hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, as well as things such as threats of wrecking a vehicle, blocking doorways and means of exit, and holding an individual down or against something. Emotional abuse includes name calling, threats, preventing an individual from working, and humiliating the individual. Rice states that sexual abuse is an unwanted touch, cat call, all sexual accusation such as cheating, giving a sexually transmitted disease and of course unwanted sexual advances (1). For many victims of abuse, all three types of abuse are experienced and many times simultaneously. Many people fail to understand domestic violence and how women end up in situations where violence is prevalent. It is estimated by Deborah D'Avolio and her research associates, that 1 in 12 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime (350). Part of the lack of understanding is due to the lack of knowledge. It is in recent years that domestic abuse was considered a crime against the other person. During the 1990's many countries, including the U.S. adopted new approaches to dealing with the issue that affects 10% - 53% of women around the world (Garcia-Moreno et al, 1260). These approaches included the intervention projects such as one called Domestic Abuse Intervention, in which the goals were to create a safe place for women as well as hold men accountable for the actions they had taken (Seith, 799-780). Claudia Garcia-Moreno and her colleagues found that the Fourth World Conference on Women, held in 1995, identified the problem of spousal and partner abuse and lack of knowledge, causes and effects not only in the United States, but rather, worldwide (1260). It is partially due to this conference that this type of abuse was decidedly against human rights. This paper will discuss many aspects of domestic violence including the cycle of abuse, characteristics of the abused as well as the abuser, the effects of abuse on the family, and the resources available for those involved in spousal abuse.
One of the difficulties surrounding domestic violence is that of understanding. Many women who have or are experiencing violence in the home find it difficult for others to relate to them and how they are feeling, and most importantly why they choose to stay with the violent abuser. In order to create understanding, one must first grasp the concept of what domestic abuse is. Robert Bornstein defines physical abuse as "involving deliberate infliction of pain or injury in the context of an ongoing dyadic relationship, and while a pattern of mistreatment is generally required, some argue that even a single serious incident can constitute abuse" (595). Bornstein then goes on to say that when describing abuse emphasis is usually put on the ability to control, manipulate, and the desire to intimidate and coerce (595). Typically with the onset of physical abuse, there is emotional abuse as well. Not only does domestic violence include the actual act of hitting or battering, but it also includes the words that are used before, during, and after abuse. This could include name calling and even threats of violence. Spousal violence occurs in three phases, the tension building phase, the explosion stage, and finally the calm stage, according to an article written by a victim of domestic violence, June Sheehan Berlinger. In the beginning of the cycle, the abuser's behaviors slowly being to escalate; knowing what is to come, the woman becomes hyper vigilant and does her best to prevent a crisis. This is a dead end for the victim, because the abuser does not see anything she has done as "good" or as Berlinger states, perfect, the abuser is never diffused (36). This then leads the abuser to be emotionally on edge causing him to eventually lose control. After the explosion has subsided, which is usually a short period of time, the abuser becomes calm and apologizes, buys gifts, or promises he will never hurt her again. This is the most important phase of the cycle, because this is what keeps the woman holding onto her relationship (36). Dr. Michelle Rice also studied domestic violence and found that an abusive relationship can occur in many ways, one of those being the cycle of violence, but she also found two other alternative explanations. Those alternatives being the concept of traumatic bonding which describes the emotional bonds that occur between the victim and the abuser, these occur from an in-balance in power between the two individuals (3). Rice also found the concept of approach and avoidance. This concept occurs when the victim of abuse tries to avoid any disagreement and abuse and only focuses on the positive aspects of the relationship, which in turn create a wall of avoidance and create a constant struggle for the woman to keep her abuser happy and remain safe all at the same time (3). These cycles and concepts described do not always appear to the victim, in other words, she is not always aware that this is in fact what she is doing, rather the abused fall into a "trap" in which they find extremely difficult to escape.
There are numerous reasons that women stay in abusive relationships, many of which outsider's do not tend to understand. Berlinger describes the woman in an abusive relationship as a woman who is afraid to speak up (36), as well as a woman "with the mistaken belief that she can take care of, rescue, and "fix" her partner" (37). What tends to occur in relationships where violence in prevalent, is a co-dependent relationship. The woman depends on her abuser to meet her emotional needs as well as economic needs; the man becomes dependent
on the woman to be submissive and controllable. Robert Bornstein describes two types of dependency in his research, one being economic dependency and the other being emotional dependency. Bornstein defines economic dependency as "the degree to which one person relies on another for financial support and is used to describe
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