Raising Cain

A boy longs for connection at the same time he feels the need to pull away, and this opens up an emotional divide. This struggle between his need for connection and his desire for autonomy finds different expression as a boy grows. But, regardless of their age, most boys are ill-prepared for the challenges along the road to becoming an emotionally healthy adult. Whatever role biology plays (and that role is by no means clear) in the ways boys are characteristically different from girls in their emotional expression, those differences are amplified by a culture that supports emotional development of girls and discourages it for boys. Stereotypical notions of masculine toughness deny a boy his emotional resources. We call this process, in which a boy is steered away from his inner world, the emotional miseducation of boys. It is a training away from healthful attachment and emotional understanding and expression, and it affects even the youngest boy, who learns quickly, for instance, that he must hide his feelings and silence his fears. A boy is left to manage conflict, adversity, and change in his life with a limited emotional repertoire. If your toolbox contains only a hammer, it's not a problem as long as all your equipment is running right or repairs call only for pounding. But as tasks grow more complex, the hammer's limitations become clear.

Gender Roles

Throughout history and in all cultures the roles of males and females vary. Relating to the piece of literature "Girl" written by Jamaica Kincaid for the time, when women's roles were to work in the home. By examining gender roles, then one may better understand how women and men interact and how better to build relationships at home and in the world of business. At the time that this work was written, women mainly stayed at home and did housework while few of the very poorest households required the woman to work in an industrial job. Kincaid wrote of the specific roles and responsibilities that a mother would tell her daughter. By what she wrote, one can fully understand what was expected of a woman at that time and in that particular culture. The object of examining gender roles is to answer the question why should women and men be equal and "Are there populations in which men and women are absolutely equal? Are there societies in which women dominate men?" (Gender 238) By understanding the culture in which this piece of literature is written, the gender roles and the rules of behavior for a woman, then the relationships between genders can be realized. The general myth about women and their gender role in the American society is that the mother works in the home and supports her man in every way. For each relationship, the people in that relationship must decide the particular roles that they will play. In the literary work "Girl", Kincaid shows clearly that the woman's role in this work was to serve the family and to work mainly in the house. The mother writing this story tells her daughter that "this is how you iron your father's khaki shirt so that it doesn't have a crease" (Kincaid 489). In this marriage, it is understood that the wife is to do the laundry for the husband. Today's society does not always provide these clear roles since many women work a full time job and the house chores are a responsibility for both to handle. Though the woman is still mainly held responsible for the home. There should be a constant search for equality in gender roles. Kincaid explains how the man is working to bring home the money and the wife supports his work. By her ironing his khaki shirt, he is better prepared for work to support his family. Though men and women are supposedly equal, the roles they must play in a particular relationship may be unequal. Even though this work does not show a conflict, the girl to whom the mother is speaking may have a conflict with her husband by the time she is married. This mother also may have an internal conflict that is not revealed in the work. Meaning that she may hold in problems that she has with the relationship because women were not supposed to reveal their feelings. Women are usually the ones who are more open in a relationship, but at this time in history women were to keep quiet in relationships (Gender 238). The conflict that will be revealed in the