Satire

The Ipocracy Government Program

Dear Reader,

As you walk down the street and see the ubiquitous white wires encircling necks like a

bolo tie, you think everyone but you has an iPod. But with iPocracy, the newest government

program, you can join all your friends with the patriotic convenience of a digital jukebox.

Signing up for the iPocracy program couldn't be easier: participants simply send in a copy of a

letter of support for the Iraq War that they have sent to their lawmakers. (For anyone who

doesn't know their representative, they can send a lank letter(zip code is required) to the

Pentagon).With support for the war at an all time low, and the President unable to convert

thoseother than the hand-picked audiences at his speeches, or the soldiers at bases who have

to fight anyway, the administration has taken a bold turn to win favor with American youth.

"It is crucial that we win the battle for the hearts and minds of theAmerican people," said

Defense Secretary Rumsfeld.Anyone already owning an iPod is offered unlimited music

downloads, or a subscription to Maxim.Fiscal conservatives, ordinarily opposed to such

profligate spending, have been offered clemency in the Jack Abramoff case if they keep

their mouths shut.iPods come with favorites like John Ashcroft's When Eagles Soar and a

selection. New digital rights