Satirical Obesity

America’s Obesity Epidemic

The nation's scales are going up and it's clear that we have an obesity health crisis on our hands. So what can we do about America's obesity epidemic? It's not just a case of telling people to eat fewer doughnuts and walk around the block each day. Over 25 percent of adults in 10 states are obese, including in Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia, Louisiana, Tennessee, Texas, Michigan, Kentucky, Indiana, and South Carolina. This is an individual problem. It's little wonder that we have an obesity epidemic.

Food is everywhere - beaming from roadsides, advertised on television, screaming in bright colors from grocery store shelves, glowing in vending machines down the hall from your cubicle. Obesity may soon overtake tobacco as the number one factor in people's deaths. So, what should we do about this epidemic?

I have concluded that we ban all food imported into America and stop food from being processed, grown, and established. The solution to our food supply can merely be half the size of a quarter. Capsules of every vitamin needed to survive that include: Vitamin C, Riboflavin, Iron, Zinc, Potassium, Thiamine, Vitamin D, Magnesium, Lecithin Granules, Taurine, IP6 rice bran extract, Protein, Calcium, Omega-3, and Quercetin. Taken 5 times a day, you will never go hungry again, and keep control of your weight no matter what.

Second, all unnecessary electronics such as televisions, microwaves, ovens, and refrigerators (since it is not needed), computers, DVD/CD players, and game systems will be confiscated. These inventions cause the average human to become the term "lazy". Machines were not invented to take away our complete physical effort, but were suppose to make processes more efficiently. The truth is not only are people now surplus, but a liability. People make mistakes, machines do not. People get tired and