Significant Setback

English is my most feared subject. It is the one vulnerable spot in my otherwise strong academic armor. Reading and writing in general have never been of great interest to me. Other than magazines, I cannot recall reading anything since The Crucible which was assigned by the teacher of my junior high English class. This has setback my ability to effectively communicate my ideas. Because of this, every time I try to write an essay my brain feels like the rusty engine of a '67 Mustang cranking up for the first time in years.

My relatives and my favorite science teacher always told me that I am a very bright individual and my accomplishments in other subjects prove that. I have always approached the subjects of math, science, and history with no hesitation, yet when faced with writing, I often shy away. To me, the task of writing creates a feeling nothing more than unnecessary stress and frustration; therefore I have shield away from this department for as long as I can remember and focused all my energy toward the areas I have strength and faith in.

The writing compartment in my brain is very restricted. I lack flexibility in the use of words and phrases. A typical sentence of mine, starts with "I", "It", "Because", "The", "But", "Therefore". It is extremely difficult for me to think of new ways to begin sentences or use sophisticated sentence patterns which I see in other people's essays. When it comes to grammar though, I am extremely proud because there are usually no corrections on the essays my teachers hand back.

Part of my frustration stems from my handwriting. I write about as fast as a turtle can crawl. A two page essay usually takes me around six hours to finish. A teacher once told me to use a process called brainstorming which I tried but did not find it very helpful. It is no brain buster for me to start an essay. I just sit down, roll up my sleeve and start jotting down that first sentence. But what comes next is an arduous journey. I usually have thoughts going on in my head and while I am pondering on which thought to put down on paper, I would forget what they were and I have to start thinking all over again. It is extremely taxing on me mentally. Once I am stuck, which occurs almost after every sentence, I would reread the whole essay again. Worst yet, I have a fond habit of procrastinating. I can only write in peace and quiet, and that's only possible after everyone is in bed. Surrounded by the infinite darkness of my room, I would merge with my paper and pen under the dim table lamp voided from the consciousness of space and time. Only when dawn glimpses through my window, would this timeless eternity be shattered. I would wait until night to start my writing trek, and "night" means the night before the assignment is due. This way I can finish the essay in one attempt instead of having to span over a course of days which would cause me to lose track of what I was writing and the essay would end up looking rugged.

When it comes to reading, I can honestly say, "I love reading". I read tons of magazines like Electronic Gaming Monthly, Maxim, Sport Compact Cars, Popular Science, and Newsweek. When I read a magazine, I do not just scan through it. I delve deeply into