Some Feeling Called Life

Seems like evolution has taken its toll, here I go again, doing something I'd promised myself I wouldn't do; yet again.

Thoughts at the speed of light, all mixed up and puzzling, too hazy still seemingly crystal clearÐ'... don't really know where all of it is headed; wishing I knew why, only to give it all up one day. Life just keeps moving onÐ'... the ones I love, the ones I never knew, the ones existing the ones long goneÐ'... each one of them, just moving towards something, something, perhaps. Its been a while since this journey started, they come, they go, each of them with their own insights, just like me, went by, in their own inconsequent way, went byÐ'... knowing there was some order beneath all this chaos and chaos beneath all this order. Its not about having a purpose, it's about finding one, or is it? Was never quite sureÐ'... Everyone just dreaming of living that little dream, that perfect elusive dream

All of us have a story, our own little stories; some 7 billion such stories being shaped today; wish I knew each of them, wish I knew everything, wish I knew nothing, wish there was a destination to this journey that started, without me realizing or having to choose. Wish I was never alive to feel this way only to realize and feel so intensely about something so beautiful yet horrid, something I don't even understand. This confusion, this mist, I wish I could see right through. Eventually feeling good about not having all the answersÐ'... Wish I was god but then only terrified of what I might know. With all the answers, I'm scared, I'd rid myself of me.

I'm bleeding of pity, the more I ask, the more I don't know, the more I know the more ignorant I becomeÐ'... I'm alone and scared, I'm not ashamed, I'm sorry, or maybe I'm not. Everyone is fineÐ'... born in cradles