Sooner Or Later, Children Take On The Personalities Of Their Parents

Sooner or Later, Children Take on the Personalities of Their Parents

I agree with this statement for many different reasons. But rather than start with my own children and my relationship with them, I feel to substantiate this claim I must go further back. I feel that the manner in which my mother and father were raised directly impacted their personality development.

My mother and father both came from very strict homes. My grandparents were cold, distant, and emotionless. They were not very caring, nor did they display any emotions other than hostility or anger. My parents were raised by "Do as I say, not as I do."

From a very young age, both my mother and father were required to work. My maternal grandparents had an enormous garden, which my mother was responsible to care for. When I was younger my mother used to tell me, "You don't know the meaning of work." She would also say, "I had to work until my hands would bleed!" My father did not have an easy childhood either. Any time anything went wrong, it was automatically his fault. Both of my parents had a very difficult childhood, and as a result they in fact became just like their parents. Alcoholism runs deep in both sides of my family, which often led to physical, verbal, and emotional abuse of both my mother and father. So as my parents grew older, they in fact inherited the personalities of my grandparents.

My mother is exactly like her parents. She is driven by only one thing and that is money. She is very unloving, calloused, and bitter. My mother is unable to communicate with me unless it is a conversation that becomes confrontational. She is not compassionate when I am having problems; she just makes reference to how when she was my age she had to do the same things with no assistance from anyone.

My father grew up in the same kind of environment. He was always to blame when something went wrong. Nothing he ever did was good enough, and as a result he turned out just like his father. My father treated me just as my grandfather treated him, like I didn't exist.

On April 1, 1974, I was born and the cycle repeated itself all over again. Since my parents were only married for a few months after my birth, I did not have to go through nor would I have understood a divorce.

As far back as I can remember, I could never do anything right. Whatever went wrong for my parents was my fault. Growing up in such an environment caused me to lash out, get into trouble at school, and ultimately be sent away. The manner in which my parents were raised led to my being treated in the same exact fashion they were. I am exactly like my mother and father. I did not choose to be like them, nor do I want to remain as they are. I feel that I was genetically predisposed with their character defects. Being raised in an environment that lacked love, compassion, and patience has had a major impact on my life. I attribute the way my grandparents were raised to my own parents' personality traits. Then in turn their parenting skills were a reflection of the childhood that they had to live through.

Now I am a father and I have to be consciously aware of whether or not I am treating my children in the same way that I was treated. Because I was always yelled at, I learned that parents solve problems by yelling or spanking. I have to try daily to remain calm, patient, and most importantly