The Collar Pop

Let's just start by saying I am the last person in the world who ought to be giving fashion advise. My wardrobe consists largely of jeans, T-shirts, and hoodies. I don't own anything pink or baby blue, although apparently those are hbot colors for guys now, and I think trucker hats belong on the heads of truckers and little leaguers.

But I promise that if you hear me out I will never give fashion advise ever again. In fact, I pinky-swear. I'll just put my two cents in, and then you can go back to reading the comics or the police beat.

My Point

Popped collars have sparked a debate that's as heated as the Florida recount. Proponents of the "pop" say it is an attention-grabber which adds the finishing touch to a well-planned wardrobe. Dissenters criticize the fad as an example of fashion's absurdity, a testament to the ills of affluence and arrogance. As I was coaching my 15U summer baseball team last week I heard one player say, "It's like wearing a sign on your neck that says 'I'm a tool, don't date me.'"

I don't see the appeal. Call me a fashion realist, but having a couple extra inches of cotton around my neck is more of a burden than a statement. If I want to keep my neck warm or block ou the sun's UV rays, I'll wear a turtleneck. And collars standing at full attention hinder your peripheral vision. That's very distracting.

And let's not get started on maintenance. Keeping your collar crisp and pointing up at a perfect 70-degree angle is a full-time job. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'll admit that I've tried the "pop" once or twice. But in my defense, I performed the experiment strictly for the purposes of curiosity, in the safety and security of my own room. When I was a kid, I would catch praying mantises in jars and try to provoke a death-match by shaking the jar. Same idea, different circumstances.

The More the Merrier?

One popped collar is enough, but I've seen a surge of the infamous "double-pop": two (or more) layered shirts of varying colors, with each collar ever-straining to reach Polaris. Isn't it more than a bit warm and uncomfortable with all that cotton on? And at that point, why stop at a few? You might as well just go all out and wear every single collared shirt you own. Just keep piling them one on top of another, and you could quite possibly become the coolest kid on campus.

Why Stop With the Collars

Another thing that