The Diary

THE DIARY 1

Dear Diary April 12

You know it aint no joke being a 19-year-old senior in high school; liven with my moms, my 4 other brothers and sisters, my grandmother, and my uncle and his girlfriend in a 3-bedroom apartment in the worst neighborhood of the whole NYC. To top it all off I'm pregnant, and to top it off I'm pregnant by the local loan shark who doesn't even care about me nor the baby I'm carrying. My life right now is so stressed out because I don't know what to do I don't have a job, I sleep in a bunk bed, my sister and I share the bottom bed, and my other brother sleeps on top, my mother has her king size bed right beside us where she sleeps with my two younger brothers. It's sad, I feel like another statistic in the black community, another black teenager pregnant before graduating from high school. The sad thing about this whole thing is that my best friend in the whole wide world doesn't even know, didn't tell her I guess you could say I'm embarrassed, because she lives the good life and I don't, I wish I could trade places with her, she doesn't even realize what she has until its all gone, or every time I'm with her (interrupted) JJJJJUUUUULLLLLLLIIIIIIIEEEE, Andrea is here for you! Alright diary I gotta go know that best friend I was telling you about she here now so I gotta go, who knows maybe I'll tell her, but then everyone else would end up knowing, and I don't want anyone to know

Hugs and Kisses

Julie

THE DIARY 2

Andrea Alexandria Ramos the landlord's granddaughter, humble, very considerate of others but is just plain spoiled rotten, she is so spoiled she doesn't even realize it, gets anything she wants, she has a name ring, a name plate, a name belt, and name earrings. 3 earring holes, on each ear, and makes sure theirs an earring in each one, doesn't always were name brand clothes but you would never be able to tell, that's how involved she is in fashion. She even tried to pursue me, but that never really worked, she is my best friend I could tell her anything. I've known her for 6years and going strong hopefully it won't get ruined with my stupidity, but she is Andrea and that is good thing.

" What up homie, wats good?" said Andrea, "nuttin just chillin, like the villain that I am" I said, " yo you want to

go for a walk? Cuz we need to talk" asked Andrea; I said " yea no doubt." The whole way their I was shakin in my boots, trying to figure out what could she possibly want to tell me, does she know? Do her parents know? How did they figure it out, is it because of my stomach? But I said a decent lie, how did they figure? I wanted to cry I was so afraid; she didn't even look at me while we were walking there, and we even walked in silence. We finally got to our spot in the park, our bench that we put our name all over it, and people we know, we looked at it, see if thought if we should add someone new, then we sat down.

One thing about Andrea is that she could never tell a lie; that wasn't her style, she hated when people were dishonest with her, the greatest relationship she would say are the ones that are open about everything and anything. " Yo julz you know you my bff for

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life right? I could tell you anything right? You could tell me anything right?" said Andrea. I never saw Andrea like this before, she is never the type of girl to where her emotions on her shoulders, but while she was talking you could tell she was upset and that something was on her mind, and it really needed to come off. I said " what's wrong, why you look so sad? What's bothering you? You could tell me anything bff for life." " Can you just hug me right now, I feel so alone, I want to tell you but it hurts to tell you this because I kept this from you for a long time, and I know where best friends and all, but I just couldn't seem to do it, but the doctor said that I should tell everyone I love, and that I will only make it until graduation then after that," Says Andrea, with streamline of tears on her face, a runny nose, and her eyes more bloodshot then Rudolph the red nose reindeer's nose. " Girl can you just tell me, you know I hate being left in the dark, just tell me and get it over with." I said. After a couple deep breaths she finally told me, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. " I have breast cancer." That's what she told me.

I couldn't believe it she is so innocent, she one of the decent people on earth. Why does God have to take her, she takes such good care of me, dammit she's only 17 years old. She wants to go to college she wants to do something in her life; she wants to be a journalist. She wants to get married, have a house, and have kids; she wants to see her grandchildren. She wants to see the world, if she had a chance she would take care of the whole world. She takes care of me, nobody understands that me, why does she have to go. We sat on our bench for hours just holding each other and crying our eyes out. She

THE DIARY 4

told me she couldn't cry anymore because she has been crying far too long and that's not her style. That's my best friend Andrea for you, always being sarcastic about everything, trying not to have too much negative around her.

Andrea asked " yo julz why you crying so hard? I know it's hard, but if I aint crying so hard then you shouldn't, know what I'm saying." That made me cry even harder because I couldn't get myself to tell her that I am pregnant. That I am lying to my friend's face, which has tears coming out her eyes. But I couldn't it made me sick to my stomach, first I was too embarrassed and second I'm afraid. Afraid of the questions she would ask, and the answers I would give her. I said, " I'm crying so hard cuz I don't want to lose you, you take good care of me, and you didn't have too, and I realized that God is going to gain a angel." I did it, I lied to my best friend in the whole wide world, I did something we promised not to do to each other, and I guess I can't keep promises, at least not this one.

"We only got a couple more months until we graduate, so that's how long you will live? I mean that's how long until the illness takes over completely?" I asked. "Yea, but Julz we shouldn't be out