The Many Sides Of A Girl

I hate how all of this is turning out, no matter how I try to fix things another bad thing pops up. I really need to try and change some things in how my life is. Maybe dress a little nicer and be nicer. Let others come to me if they want to hang out, not always call them. Although sometimes there are people who are waiting for me to call them instead. Well I don’t know what to do so I am just going to leave it at that for now.

On to my next topic, Nathan. I really do care about him, except that he gets mad at every little thing I do. I can’t just hang out with one of my guy friends, just me and him, without Nathan getting mad. I wish that it wouldn’t be like that. I realize that I am partial to blame for all that is going on between me and him, but he has got to understand that we don’t always have to talk about the negative things in our lives. Right now it seems like I just want it to go back to they way things were, him and I able to talk about everything and not a care in the world. I mean I was having guy problems before military ball and he was there for me, and even though I went out with nick in the end after that he still was by me while I was with nick, and when nick broke up with me. Hell, he wanted to kick nick’s ass, but I couldn’t let him do that, nick is still one of my really good friends and I do care about him. Well nick is another paragraph to write; right now it’s about Nathan. Teesha and I have the nickname taters for him, or usvat, but I don’t want to call him that anymore, unless I am joking around and saying taters to make him mad. But sadly, not anymore nyki told him to stay away from me and my family and I don’t know how that is going to work when we both work in supply. I am not going to quit I love supply; if I could I would spend very moment in there reorganizing things just to make it look better. Sometimes I just wish all these problems between Nathan and I was just a dream. A horrible, very bad dream, but I guess not.

Time for the topic of, nick. Nick and I have been on and off since over a year now. I really do like him, but he says all he wants is to be alone, with no relationship. He has really put me through a lot, but still in the end whenever he needs something I am there for him. I wish that he would realize at least that. His best friend KC knows the way I feel about nick. When nick broke up with me hell KC was by my side and he knew how much it hurt. I still wish I was with nick....

Now I shall talk about… KC… I realized too late that I had lost my chance with him. If I had only known that he liked me at the same I liked him. He is a great guy and I KNOW that he would have treated me perfectly. But he is with my good friend esp though and he is happy. Which makes me happy, I can talk to KC about ANYTHING and he was always there for me. I hate that when he wanted to kiss me on homecoming that he didn’t. I was also scared of what would happen, he was still with one of my other friends at the time. Plus, my friend esra who I have been friends with for about 8 years really, really, really liked him. Even though they went out and broke up I just couldn’t go out with her ex. But, like always what I wish will never be.

On to Teesha now, I thought we were best friends, but I guess not. A lot of shit has happened between us, and we had gotten through it. But now, it’s the end for something I had hoped would never end, our friendship. It really hurts me to say that we aren’t friends anymore, but it’s true. MSGT had always told us we were like Siamese twins joined at the hip and it made us laugh, because we knew why he would say that. We were always together no matter what, and to make things better we lived 2 blocks from each other. Whenever she needed something