The Pedal Power Don'R Stop!

Americans are faced with several problems on a daily basis. Traffic is atrocious. Anywhere you go, be it work, school or just to visit a friend or realative, you are surrounded by traffic. The average American commuter spends 50 hours per year in traffic (1). If you live to be 70 years old that is 3500 hours in traffic, that is almost 5 months of your life stuck in traffic. Imagine what you could do with 5 months of your life back, spend time with your family or simply extra time to relax, it does not matter as long as you are not wasting unneccesary time in traffic. Gas prices are at an all time high, a barrel of crude oil is up to 90 dollars (2). That is a rise of 450% from 2000 according to OPEC the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. Obesity in America is being labeled as a crisis: a condition of instability or danger, as in social, economic, political, or international affairs, leading to a decisive change, and an epidemic: a widespread outbreak of an infectious disease. Approximately 119 million American citizens are obese, that makes up 60% of America (3). 119 million people are overeating and under-exercising causing Americans to contract this newly classified disease. Damn, Americans sure are owning up to our stereotypical laziness. Now, because there are so many cars on the road, the ozone layer is depleting and global warming is real, regardless if President Bush does not believe in it. What is going on? Where did all these problems come from? What are we going to do to solve these problems? Just relax, I know the root of this problem and have a solution for America. Americans are not riding their bicycles. All the problems layed out can and will be subdued if we all put down the cheeseburger, got out of our cars, off the sofa, and hopped on our bikes. But remember we are all lazy Americans, how is this going to happen? The government will make you. At the age of 18 all American citizens will be required by law to own a bicycle, and if you cannot afford one there will be government issued bicycles. Gas will be regulated based on necesity. Failure to abide will result in fines, restrictions will be put on the perpitrator's license and bicyling probation programs will make you report to a location to ride your bike for excess use of ones automobile out of laziness. People not riding bicycles is a problem because it is key for the salvation of America.

Dense traffic congestion, rising gas prices, the depletion of the ozone layer and obesity are a family of organized crime. At the head of the family are all the neglected bikes, sitting in sheds and garages collecting dust, that have been long substituted for the convient gluttony of a car. In 2003, 97 million Americans drove to work by themselves and over 100 million citizens owned a bicycle. Less than one percent of short trips are made by bicycle in America (4). Riding a bike offers more chance for exercise, reduces traffic congestion, noise pollution and smog emmitted by cars. Our revolution will have two wheels and will not be motorized.

Firstly, the government will make you ride your bicycle if you live 5 miles from your place of work or study and you are 12 miles from your place of leisure; you will be required to ride your bike. Now, with the biproducts of not bicycling, obesity and laziness, several people will not be able to make the 12-mile minimum. In such cases these people will be given a physical examination and put on bicycle probation until the person's body can adapt to the new sensation of exercise. Bicycle probation will be similar to the work release programs set up today, where the parolee is require to show up at certain locations to work for community service. Bicycle parolees will be required to show up at a location with their bicycle to condition for the state minimum of 12 miles. Failure to complete probation in a timely manner will result in a fine and you will remain on probation. The second offence will result in a fine, you will remain on probation and be forced to wear a yellow armband to show that you are a repeat offender. Failure to wear the armband will result in more serious federal offences such as harsher fines and possibly jail time.

Secondly, not everyone can afford bicycles, so if you cannot afford a bike one will be appointed to you. The government will set up bicycle factories for the production of the newly needed government issued bikes. This will require a brief period of aproximately one year in which a small 'Bike' tax will be implemented to get the programs started. By the start of the second year the 'Bike' tax will be repealed and the program will be strong enough to sustain itself. There are also beneficial factors to the economy, because more jobs will be opened to construct and run the factories needed for bicycle production.

Thirdly, we will need